Match: 05
/ 103
Won
by 9 wkts
Team |
Total |
Cholsey CC |
88 |
A. Mann 4 - 10, M. Westmoreland 2 - 8 |
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
89 - 1 |
L. Davie 39*, D. Edwards
34* |
Last December, the rank and file of The MAD Party had cause to rejoice
as leader James Hoskins was elected to the office of Captain for a record third
term. “This is the first occasion a skipper of the No-MAD has been returned
for a third year in succession,” said Hoskins at the time, looking weary and
jaded from incessant campaigning. “And so what if I had to adopt the policies
of the Sane Party to win in the first place? I appreciate, however, that my
margin of victory this time was less than a landslide, and believe me, I am
contrite. I am humble. I vow to listen to the message that the formerly-MAD
players have sent me. Listen listen listen. In addition, I pledge that I will never ever ever invade Wootton or Dorchester, unless President Bush
tells me to. As for back-door privatisation of the club, it will continue as
before.” The No-MAD
watch on after S. Dobner’s early dismissal. Yet there were rumblings of discontent from The MAD Party’s lower
order, keen to oust their leader at the earliest opportunity and replace him
with a pragmatic socialist bent on redistribution of the team’s funds, and so
a first up victory in season 2005 was crucial for Hoskins to consolidate his
power base. After winning the toss on a cool and blustery afternoon, Cholsey
elected to bat. It had been a drubbing which Cholsey had handed out to The MAD in 2004,
and there was some expectation among their ranks that this year’s fixture
might unfold in like manner, but it was soon apparent that this time round
things would not be so easy. The Cholsey pitch, the previous September soft
and spongy like a baby’s turd, seemed both pliant and hard, maybe with
ridges, maybe not, as though comprised of no more than a few rolls of turf
tramped down the previous day by landscapers just back from the pub. A. Mann
(7-4-10-4) opened from the Railway End not quite warmed up and produced a
percentage of leg-side shite, but still got the odd one to dart. He soon had
openers S. Haigh (4) and P. Jackson (5) stalking back to the pavilion with
their stumps in disarray. I. Howarth (5-3-5-0) bowled with venom and lift,
and though unfortunate not to take a wicket, he did distressingly break a
nose as Cholsey’s J. Gilbert (ret’d hurt 0) played
a rising delivery into his face and was soon off to casualty. (Along with L.
Davie, Howarth is currently the quickest of the No-MAD’s bowling line-up,
which may well have something to do with his particularly small hands). A.
Mann in vintage form with the ball. M. Westmoreland (7-1-23-3) also bowled some shite,
got carted, took a wicket with some shite, and then found the dangerous line
which ripped through the Cholsey middle order. Westmoreland has uncovered a
prodigious skill for moving the ball from leg to off against the
right-hander, and if you’re up against that kind of
stuff, well, just don’t bother putting on the pads, buddy. Bowling without
hat, J. Hoskins (6-1-30-0) was unjustly punished for his provocative
approach, with top edges dropping tantalisingly short and the stumps seeming
to narrow oddly as the ball phizzed past. On
another day, he would have had a hatful. By the time N. Hebbes (2.5-0-8-2)
came on to wrap things up after the hail and rain, Mann had bagged a couple
more clean bowled, including high-scorer D. Powell (47), and Cholsey had
slumped to 88 all out. D. Edwards (hat with brim) looked sharp in the field,
as did J. Hotson, and T. Smith took two catches with customary ease. M.
Bullock behind the stumps showed no ill-effects from overwintering. Lee
Davie demonstrated his class with the bat. Batting after egg sandwiches (no cheese), the No-MAD made it look easy,
but it was not. S. Dobner (4) played on after striking an early blow through
the covers, but then D. Edwards (34 n.o.) and L.
Davie (39 n.o.) returning from a debilitating
plastering injury had to battle both the vagaries of the pitch and the
accurate line of R. Williams (7-2-12-1) in order to subdue the Cholsey
attack. On their first time together at the crease, Edwards and Davie played
with great composure and understanding in difficult conditions, letting loose
only when the modest target came within sight. Edwards capped it all with a
raking six over the herd of moo cows in a far corner of the field. J.
Harris and his mate Stella find other interested parties. It was great to see J. ‘Calypso’ Harris at the game too, and to meet
his constant companion Stella, who helped him with the scoring. At nine
wickets, this was the No-MAD’s most resounding win against strong opposition,
and enough to secure Hoskins’ position as captain despite the grumblings of a
small but vocal minority of unelectable scumbag socialist malcontents. Is this the Great Leap Forward? ‘Blocker’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Cholsey CC Played at Cholsey, 8 May 2005 Cholsey
CC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC
won by 9 wkts Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
05 / 103 35 over match |
Team |
Cholsey CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
S. Haigh |
b Mann |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
1-8 |
2 |
P. Jackson |
b Mann |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
2-9 |
3 |
J. Gilbert * |
retired hurt |
0 |
|
- |
- |
- |
4 |
D. Powell |
b Mann |
47 |
|
7 |
- |
7-87 |
5 |
R. Harding |
b Westmoreland |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
3-34 |
6 |
S. Clayton-Chance |
c Smith b Hebbes |
3 |
|
- |
- |
4-41 |
7 |
R. Williams |
c Mann b Westmoreland |
3 |
|
- |
- |
5-58 |
8 |
M. Trower + |
c Smith b Westmoreland |
4 |
|
- |
- |
6-71 |
9 |
J. Haigh |
b Mann |
2 |
|
- |
- |
8-88 |
10 |
J. Nathaniel |
b Hebbes |
1 |
|
- |
- |
9-88 |
11 |
J. Haigh |
not out |
0 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
Extras |
(LB2, B10) |
12 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 27.5 overs) |
88 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Mann |
7 |
4 |
10 |
4 |
|
2 |
Howarth |
5 |
3 |
5 |
0 |
|
3 |
Westmoreland |
7 |
1 |
23 |
3 |
|
4 |
Hoskins |
6 |
1 |
30 |
0 |
|
5 |
Hebbes |
2.5 |
0 |
8 |
2 |
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b Williams |
4 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
1-4 |
2 |
D. M. Edwards |
not out |
34 |
(47) |
3 |
1 |
- |
3 |
L. Davie |
not out |
39 |
(57) |
7 |
- |
- |
4 |
T. P. W. Smith |
|
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
N. J. Hebbes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
J. D. Hoskins * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
I. Howarth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
M. Bullock + |
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
A. G. Mann |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(LB6, B6) |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 1 wicket, 17.5 overs) |
89 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Williams |
7 |
2 |
12 |
1 |
|
2 |
S. Haigh |
2 |
1 |
2 |
0 |
|
3 |
Taylor |
5 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
4 |
Nathaniel |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
5 |
Powell |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
6 |
Harding |
0.5 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
MOTM: A. G. Mann Champagne Moment: D. M. Edwards’ cow for
the maximum Buffet
Award: J. D. Hoskins’ homemade
treacle pudding (with lashings of cream) |
Opposition:
V033 / 03 Ground: G026 / 02 Captain: C006 / 30 |