Match: 16
/ 391
Won
by 6 wkts
Team |
Total |
Isis CC |
101 - 4 |
T. Smith 2 - 7, D. Shorten
1 - 6 |
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
103 - 4 |
I. Howarth 47, R. Turner
38 |
Recent encounters
between the Far from the MCC and near neighbours the Isis CC have thrown up a
few memorable finishes, none more so than the game played out at Cassington (#312)
in the fall of 2013. On a damp and gloomy day which would transpire to be Skipper
Westmoreland’s final match in charge, he watched agog as Isis batsman N.
Wyatt stood on his stumps whilst hitting the final ball for four – a boundary
which would have given his team victory, nay for the splattered woodwork
under his muddy boots. It is a match indelibly inked into cricketing folklore
for both teams, regularly brought up in animated conversation as being the most
flabbergastingly, unbelievably incredible finish to a game* that you could
probably ever have. Maybe. Maybe not…? Yesterday evening’s T20
joust between these perennial rivals would produce another memorable finish,
but in altogether different circumstances to that Cassington affair. You see, it really shouldn’t have been that memorable at all, if only because
it had finally stopped raining after weeks of the stuff, and er… some cricket
was played, and er… The MAD won at a canter. But there you go, as wise men
will tell you “it ain’t over till it’s over” – and it definitely “ain’t over until the fat lady** sings”. Moo … on his final “boring” day in charge. Having remembered how to
toss a coin, Skipper Shorten decided to invite Isis CC to have first crack on
a virginal pitch that had sweated under the covers for over a fortnight.
Bowling was keen, with the standouts being Shorten himself (3-1-6-1) and the
undervalued lobbing’s and darts from T. Smith (2-0-7-2) – a player whose
strike-rate and wicket haul seems to gather momentum with each passing
season. L. Blatchford’s stoic 35* would underpin an eventual Isis total of
101-4, but you couldn’t help ponder the merit of having so many wickets in
hand at the death. The crowd was swelled at
the interval by Mr T. P. W. Smith’s other half, a smug looking M. K. Reeves
hiding behind reflective sunglasses, and the controversial enigma which is
Lord Lucan. Richard (nay Lucan) would later declare that he apparently “saw
some cricket and wandered over” – not realising of course it was his own team playing. He would then later
opine that a batting I. Howarth resembled Bruce Springsteen. Make of that
want you want, but considered judgement is that Ian is neither a talented
guitar player or creditable vocalist, save for throwing sarcastic barbs at
his team mates when bored in the field. Also of note were the facts that Ian wore
a cap as opposed to a sweatband, was wearing whites as opposed to denim or
leather, and held a bat instead of a microphone. Maybe Bruce was there, maybe
not, but then maybe R. J. B. Hadfield wasn’t there either, and that this
section of the essay can be bracketed as pure fiction?*** Stock footage of Lord Lucan. The MAD reply was
fronted by the aforementioned Howarth and Mr R. P. Turner, no strangers to
batting together and certainly no strangers to running each other out. On
what was now a lovely July evening, they didn’t run each other out and went
on to compile a record T20 opening partnership of 86 – eclipsing the previous
benchmark of 84 set by D. M. Edwards and Skipper Shorten some seven years
before (v St Clements). Ian has enjoyed a purple patch since the ignominy of
being bowled for a duck by a 6 year old in Aldsworth,
rediscovering his swagger and a thirst for compiling runs. Russ is simply
Russ – accumulating at will and waiting for the leg side drivel he can paddle
/ pull / sweep all day to form a quarter of a wagon wheel when analysing his
scoring shots. When Ian (47) eventually
fell pulling to one that stayed low off the indefatigable N Wyatt (4-0-15-1),
the Far from the MCC required the utterly undemanding total of 16 runs from
4.4 overs with 9 wickets in hand. Not even Hollywood could boast a
scriptwriter capable of penning an outcome where the home team won from
there. But have faith – this is The MAD, not
Hollywood, so please settle down, dispense with disbelief and read on…. Turner aiming in his quarter wagon wheel. With shadows lengthening
and opening bowlers returning, the wickets would now start to fall. Smith (4)
came and went in a flash, whilst Turner’s (38) long vigil was undone by the
Dutch finger of Mr Webster. A jocular scorer’s table now descended into mild
panic with only Tall Bob to be found padded up. Pearson and Shorten now
plunged frantically into their respective kit bags as a fully-clothed Ainsworth
wandered out from the pavilion bar to ask quite rightly “what the fuck?!”
Tensions were now ratcheted up yet further as Hotson (4) fell to the first
ball of the final over bowled by K Whiter. You couldn’t make it up – you
really couldn’t make…. With Shorten’s head
exploding from the sheer implausibility of the situation now unfolding, he opted
to take Roberts out the firing line and stride out to the middle himself. The
MAD now required 5 runs to win from 5 balls. How on earth had it come to
this? It was that nonsensical that the
lower order had now dispensed with their pints and were clambering back into
their whites…. Hotson (batting) avoids a TFC. We now pick up the
action at a fraught Queens College Sports Ground with Mr D. Shorten on strike…. 19.2: Swing and a miss – and
an audible groan to accompany the incredulous grumblings from those all
round. There are now mumblings of concern regarding Dave’s ability to
Skipper, pick a sensible batting order, organise his troops in a manner
befitting a MAD Captain, hit the bloody ball, and above all else – suspicions
are now rife regarding his qualifications and certificates for building houses
on Boars Hill. 5 required off 4. 19.3: Swing and a slog – two
runs out to a shady corner with no cow. 3 required off 3. Less mutterings. 19.4: Swing and a miss – and
nobody can quite believe Shorten’s stumps remain standing. Least of all, the
exasperated Mr Whiter. The mumblings are back, but have now been replaced
with condemnation. Ainsworth is swearing about batting at #11, Howarth is
vilifying the team as a whole for fucking things up, Turner wants Webster
thrown from Magdalen Spire, Timms is trying to calm everyone down with that
unflustered transience of his, and an effigy of Shorten is now ablaze atop
the pavilion. All this with Tall Bob still padded up and looking on
impassively. 3 required off 2. 19.5: Swing and a… WHACK!!! – FOUR
runs out to the shady corner with no cow and the deepest of all relieved MAD
sighs. All bets are off,
insurgencies cancelled, insurrections abandoned, EGM’s vetoed and a burning
effigy doused in club lager. The match concludes with excitable banter and
generous handshakes all round, with Mr Shorten now touted as the greatest T20
Skipper The MAD has ever been blessed with. This really was the game that should never ever have been that exciting. Yet there you go,
nothing is ever carved in stone
until the fat lady sings and says its bloody well over. ** - The Fat Lady
singing is apparently a colloquialism, nay famous proverb, which means that
one should not presume to know the outcome of an event which is still in progress. It is understood to
be referencing stereotypical overweight sopranos of the opera, whose aria
leads directly to the end of an opera. *** - Delete as
appropriate. ‘V. Brünnhilde’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Isis
CC Played at Queens College, 5 July 2016 Far from the MCC won the
toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
16 / 391 20 over match |
Team |
Isis CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
L. Blatchford |
not out |
35 |
|
- |
- |
- |
2 |
O. Walter |
c Carter b Shorten |
5 |
|
- |
- |
1-13 |
3 |
P. Davenport |
c Carter b Smith |
22 |
|
- |
- |
2-59 |
4 |
P. Jacobs † |
b Smith |
9 |
|
- |
- |
3-76 |
5 |
R. Vellayappan |
c Webster b Pearson |
7 |
|
- |
- |
4-85 |
6 |
K.H. Whiter |
not out |
6 |
|
- |
- |
- |
7 |
R. Stoneman |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
R. Kella |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
A. East |
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
N. H. R. Wyatt * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
K. Ponsford |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB6, W4, LB3, B4 |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 20 overs) |
101 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Shorten |
3 |
1 |
6 |
1 |
|
2 |
Ainsworth |
3 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
3 |
Roberts |
3 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
|
4 |
Timms |
3 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
5 |
Webster |
2 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
6 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
7 |
2 |
|
7 |
Pearson |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
|
8 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
I. Howarth |
b Wyatt |
47 |
(46) |
5 |
1 |
1-86 |
2 |
R. P. Turner |
lbw b Blatchford |
38 |
(56) |
4 |
1 |
3-97 |
3 |
T. P. W. Smith |
c Kella b Blatchford |
4 |
(5) |
1 |
- |
2-91 |
4 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
c Jacobs b Whiter |
4 |
(7) |
- |
- |
4-97 |
5 |
J. W. Pearson |
not out |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
- |
6 |
D. Shorten * |
not out |
6 |
(4) |
1 |
- |
- |
7 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
G. J. Timms |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
G. Carter † |
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. vdG. Webster |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
L. G. Ainsworth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
NB1, W1, LB2 |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 19.5 overs) |
103 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Whiter |
3.5 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
|
2 |
Wyatt |
4 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
3 |
Ponsford |
3 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
4 |
East |
3 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
|
5 |
Kella |
2 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
6 |
Blatchford |
4 |
0 |
10 |
2 |
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: R. P. Turner’s flat
pull for six Buffet
Award: J. vd
G Webster’s bacon sandwiches with Value brown sauce |
Opposition:
V009 / 25 Ground: G008 / 12 Captain: C016 / 18 |