Far from the MCC fines 07.05.17 v Enstone CC (a) won by 5 wkts
Recorded
Fines
25p
unless otherwise stated.
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
Lee |
Arguing |
With opposition skipper |
|
|
Constant bitching / complaining |
About his (apparent) injuries |
|
|
Faking injury |
|
|
|
Promoting Russ |
Refusal to open due to mystery injuries |
|
|
Grumbling throughout |
Moany cunt |
|
|
Getting out |
|
|
|
Arrogance in field |
Arranging field placement without consent |
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
|
|
|
Gary T |
Not putting Lucan on the boundary |
|
|
|
Bullying Dobner |
Sending out shitty emails and in-jokes preceding Steve’s
withdrawal from the team |
|
|
Bowling Psycho at the wrong end |
Crap first up |
|
|
Ainsworth’s pet |
Being dictated to |
|
|
Double standards |
Moaning about Ainsworth |
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
Lord Lucan |
Average protection |
|
|
|
Self obsession |
Calculating his own average (incorrectly) |
|
|
Embarrassing other batsmen |
By scoring runs |
|
|
Dissing the umpire |
Richard knows best |
|
|
Bodleian avoidance |
Not playing for them (his preferred option last season) |
|
|
Run out avoidance |
Surprisingly no victims this week |
|
|
Boundary avoidance |
Not fielding there |
|
|
Using confusing language |
Being a bit clever for himself (standard behaviour) |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
Russ |
Self-branding |
Russell Athletic T-shirt |
|
|
Negative energy |
|
|
|
Arguing |
With everyone |
|
|
Arrogance |
Excessive correctness (as above) |
|
|
Not being himself |
Leaving cake behind in the pavilion and scraps of his fourteenth
sandwich |
|
|
Yorkshire terrier?! |
(fuck knows?) |
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
Spam |
Dissing Salad |
“He’s shit these days – a waste of fantasy currency.” |
|
|
Batting like a cunt |
Shit shot to get out despite team having just had a mini-collapse |
|
|
Arguing with the umpire |
Not satisfied by adjudication on lbw appeal (when bowling) |
|
|
Comedy fielding |
|
|
|
Overuse of chest |
…to stop the ball in the field (several occasions) |
|
|
Exposure of belly |
At picnic table whilst eating |
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
Reevsie |
Average protection |
|
|
|
Showboating |
Not playing himself in before twatting the ball to all parts |
|
|
Hungover |
|
|
|
Drinking at The Star |
|
|
|
Flaunting wealth |
Bulging wallet and tin fines box |
|
|
Fashion victim |
Wearing his reflective shades on his head |
|
|
Smug |
In lieu of his match winning knock |
|
|
Happy to be smug |
As above |
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
Psycho |
Buffet avoidance |
Despite throwing down some real shit |
|
|
Impersonating an opening bowler |
|
|
|
Book ending the Enstone innings |
With his bowling |
|
|
Self importance |
|
|
|
Impersonating a death bowler |
|
|
|
Impersonating Tall Bob |
Looking down at people |
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
Geoff |
Impersonating a wicketkeeper |
|
|
|
Duck avoidance |
|
|
|
Shit run out |
Took him three attempts to complete a simple run out chance |
|
|
|
|
£0.75 |
Pearson |
Comedy fielding |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
Turning up in whites |
|
|
|
Leaving the ground in whites |
|
|
|
Impersonating a pinch hitter |
Sarcastic reference to his pathetic strike rate before getting
himself out |
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
Matt B |
Keeping avoidance |
Stood in slip again |
|
|
Boozing before game |
|
|
|
Slow scoring |
The scorebook suddenly became ‘active’ after he retired from his
duties following the first 20 overs of The MAD innings |
|
|
Rain Man impression |
Immediate stat calculations |
|
|
Countdown power |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
Salad |
Ball gluttony |
In the field |
|
|
Opening bowler no wicket |
|
50p |
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
No faith in the team |
“You’re all shit” (among other audible barbs) |
|
|
Fantasy obsession |
More concerned with winning the Fantasy League than a real game
of cricket |
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£15.75 |
*
Special
Rates
Indiscretion |
Cost |
Duck |
£0.50 |
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
Opening Partnership < 25 Avoidance |
£0.50 |
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
Fines Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown) |
£1.00 |
Uber (anything) – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending |
£0.50 |
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning |
£0.50 |
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman |
£1.00 |
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
Bringing the Club into Disrepute* (* - Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00* |
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |