“Report by Lego”
Match: 11
/ 241
Lost
by 81 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Appleton CC |
131 - 4 |
|
D. Emerson 2 - 9, D. Shorten
1 - 11 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
50 |
|
D. Shorten 2 - 32 |
|
|
When you’ve lost just
about every game you’ve played in a season, and the ones you have won were
against opposition that had been talked out of retirement, disabled, children
or dead, then when two victories on the trot come along, against reasonable
teams, it hard not to become slightly giddy and forget that on the whole the
season has been unremarkable and that in summary we have played rather shit. And so it was, and I
consider myself fully in the mindset of the above, that we took on Appleton
again, the foes we destroyed with Lego flailing the winning runs from the
bowling of a small child. Earlier Parkinson had flattened the poor child’s
stumps in the same game. But victory had been so thin on the ground that when
the opportunity arose we exploited it to its full. It would be that Appleton
were returning, not just for a pleasant game of cricket, but for revenge of
the humiliated minor.
Library footage of a bunch of Apples. Appleton were thick on
the ground when The MAD team arrived, throwing balls in the field and looking
young more than anything else. I hope they won’t be offended but also a
little on the short side. I don’t know if there’s something in the water in
Appleton, but their cricketers all do seem to have that slightly squat and
stocky nature, familiar to Norse invaders. Indeed Appleton was
sacked by the Danes in 871, and presumably bred with the natives, explaining
their predominantly blond and curly haired nature. Ominously the primary
school in Appleton was also classed as “outstanding” by Ofsted in 2009,
meaning this bunch of bandits were also well schooled and probably clever.
Worse Appleton, whose toponym is “an orchard” refers to the large supply of
apples to be had in said parts: thus they are
probably a healthy bunch of Vikings. Lastly, Appleton is home to the oldest
bell hanging company in the country, Whites of Appleton. This lot know how to
hang a bell, so they probably know how to hit a cricket ball. Also lastly
they have the number 63 bus route to Oxford, meaning they are probably not
that inbred and therefore have a potent mix of Viking and other genes to work
with. This information passed The
MADsters by as we confidently went about our
business. Jake won the toss and put us into the field. He forgot to put his
pads on and had to run back to get them, but that is the kind of thing
confident and capable people do. They don’t fuss over silly pointless
details. And why should they, what a start. G. Timms with his foxy leg spin
(2-0-10-0) and D. Shorten (3-1-11-1) with swinging deliveries gave The MAD a
great start. After 4 overs the score was 13, a proper wicket had fallen,
Manning thinning an edge to the keeper Hotson.
G. Timms looking every inch the number 12
batsman. Hotson maintained his
characteristic rotation of the bowlers short and sharp, and it paid dividends
with J. Hoskins picking up a wicket with his first ball (2-0-15-1). After 6
overs they only had 22 runs. Ha ha ha, this game is so easy. But then it went downhill, and
I like sledging, but it was a sort of not fun downhill. An expensive over from
Hoskins and a very expensive over from P. Mellor (1-0-20-0) mixed up with
some good overs from C. Roberts (4-0-25-0) transported the game back to
Appleton. At 10 overs suddenly they were 72-2. To be honest, although there’s
no doubting the unmissable ingredients of the common English Doughnut, it was
the batting that stood out as M. Bungay hit a rapid 41 from 20 balls. A change of tack from
Hotson brought on Pearson (3-0-18-0) and Westmorland (3-0-21-0) who both kept
it tight, and both were unlucky not to have wickets to their name as balls
ballooned up left, right and centre but never to a fielder. Sometime around
this was the new award for each match “The MAD Moment”, when I Leggate
attempted to catch a routine ball thrown to him from the wicket keeper, it
slipped through his hands, although that would suggest his hands were close
to it, which they weren’t, and landed on his knee with a loud knocking sound,
rendering him a jelly on the grass. Indeed the fielding was “hot”, even Paddy
uncharacteristically charging at a ball on the boundary and then I can only
assume trying to crush it as he launched himself towards it. He missed, but
we thank him for the effort and for the comedy. However
a strong finish from D. Emerson (2-0-9-2) kept the Barbarians to 131 for 5
which with a swagger The MAD thought entirely gettable.
“Jesus – some of the scores in here don’t make
happy reading this year….” Hoping for a repeat of the
blistering Goose start from Hoskins (0) on this occasion we were
disappointed. However there was triple a A* for effort and if you believe in
“the butterfly effect” then Hoskins and Leggate (2) will have caused a couple
of tropical storms with all the bat swishing that was going on. Roberts
succumbed to a Diamond duck thanks to Leggate who decided he would sacrifice
his partner so he could get a bit more swishing in and a slow 6 from Hadfield
left The MADsters reeling on 26-4 after 8 overs. But let’s be fair to our
top order heroes. Appletons young stallions were
just too good for us. Quick and on target, The MADsters
just couldn’t get them away. Pieterson and
Tendulkar I suspect would have struggled. We are the greatest, and have won 2
on the trot before now, this was just revenge being exacted. A flicker of hope
entered in the form of Emerson, who, in his own words, played the best shot
of his life as he flicked the bowling of his legs for a majestic 4. Always
positive he was bowled for 12, which would end up being the top score.
Westmorland (7) and Pearson (5) did their best to push treacle up a hill, but
were both rolled up in the sticky stuff and coated in desiccated coconut by
J. Crowe. Too fast and too accurate. At this point with the
score on 44-7, Appleton decided they could relent, and opened the Appleton
confectionary shop in the guise of C. Older. Shorten (1), unable to resist
such temptation eyed a long white sticky bun but failed to connect converting
an outrageously wide ball in to a legitimate delivery. The next was beyond
pie. It was a ripe, runny custard tart which had had the pastry carefully
peeled off, to leave a wobbling ball of blancmange. It was above head height
and off the pitch but the bowler surely knew this was the sort of fodder
Shorten couldn’t resist. Whallop, high into the
air, too high, and plucked out of the sky, one handed behind his head by the
falling fielder. An outrageous catch and the eighth wicket. P. Mellor (3)
converted a certain 3 runs into about 1.5 and ran himself out for the fifth
successive time. G. Timms (0) held out as best he could, but Hotson was left
stranded on 2 (Mad all out for a paltry 54).
A successful bunch of Norse Invaders leave the
field. So where do we go. Well
we are the team who won 2 on the trot. We still are the team who won two on
the trot! Our time will come again, and in the meantime if you’re going to
lose its good to so in such fine company as fellow Madsters and the very
amicable side of Appleton. Hats off to you Appleton, but we’ll have you next
time! ‘Lego’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Appleton CC Played at Brasenose College, 27 July
2011 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Appleton CC won by 81 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
11 / 241 20 over match |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Appleton
CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. Manning |
c Hotson b Shorten |
5 |
|
1 |
- |
1-5 |
|
2 |
S. Hancock |
run out |
34 |
|
1 |
- |
5-112 |
|
3 |
C. Teeling |
c Hadfield b Hoskins |
4 |
|
- |
- |
2-13 |
|
4 |
M. Bungay * |
retired |
41 |
|
5 |
2 |
- |
|
5 |
B. Gilkes |
b Emerson |
23 |
|
1 |
- |
3-110 |
|
6 |
J. Crowe |
b Emerson |
0 |
|
- |
- |
4-110 |
|
7 |
M. Godwin |
not out |
10 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
E. Bennett |
not out |
7 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
T. Crowe |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
G. Alder |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. Alder |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W5, B2) |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 20 overs) |
131 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Timms |
2 |
0 |
10 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Shorten |
3 |
1 |
11 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Mellor |
1 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Westmoreland |
3 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Pearson |
3 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Emerson |
2 |
0 |
9 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b T. Crowe |
0 |
(6) |
- |
- |
1-2 |
|
2 |
I. C. Leggate |
c b T. Crowe |
2 |
(18) |
- |
- |
3-11 |
|
3 |
C. D. Roberts |
run out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
2-2 |
|
4 |
R. J. B. Hadfield |
c b G. Alder |
6 |
(19) |
- |
- |
5-28 |
|
5 |
D. Emerson |
b Bennett |
12 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
4-26 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b J. Crowe |
7 |
(11) |
1 |
- |
7-44 |
|
7 |
J. W. Pearson |
b J. Crowe |
5 |
(9) |
- |
- |
6-41 |
|
8 |
D. Shorten |
c Teeling b C. Alder |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
8-45 |
|
9 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
run out |
3 |
(6) |
- |
- |
9-49 |
|
10 |
J. C. W. Hotson *+ |
not out |
2 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
G. J. Timms |
b T. Crowe |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
10-50 |
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W7, LB2, B2) |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 13.3 overs) |
50 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
T. Crowe |
3 |
0 |
9 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Bennett |
4 |
1 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Alder |
3 |
0 |
17 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
J. Crowe |
2.3 |
0 |
9 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
C. Alder |
1 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: D. Emerson Champagne Moment: C. D Roberts’ run out Buffet
Award: P. A. S. Mellor’s KFC banquet
(no cutlery) |
Opposition:
V051 / 07 Ground: G040 / 20 Captain: C012 / 11 |