“No Crowning Glory for The MAD”

Match: 23 / 586

Lost by 7 wkts

Team	Total
FFTMCC	88
I. Howarth 20, M. Reeves 16
Wootton & Bladon CC	90 - 3
J. Harris 1 - 11

With the King’s Coronation demanding another Bank Holiday weekend, the UK’s weather god’s naturally saw fit to piss on everyone’s parade. With Union Jack bunting and pasting tables washed into the sewers, much of the weekend’s league and cricket program would be scrubbed. But that would be to forget about that most villagey of the sport that is contested most Sundays.

Sunday would see a break in the weather as it turned out, where sodden paddy fields would dry out under warm blue skies, and teams batting second would be able to apply themselves in “reasonably decent playing conditions.” The MAD didn’t bat second and neither did I. Howarth win the toss, but we get ahead of ourselves so let’s rewind.

With Captain Turner side-lined whilst taking on an enforced crash diet and Timms enjoying another slice of his holidaying odyssey, it was left to Howarth to pick up the baton and take his comrades out to the leafy countryside of Cassington.

Just five or so miles northwest of Oxford, Cassington is just far enough away from the City to boast happy people who say “hello”, zero graffiti and LTN schemes, and has a cricket ground famous for where Geoff Carter once played in his pomp over one hundred years ago.

After a pint or so at the local to better ingratiate themselves with the villagers, Team MAD arrived at said ground to be told they were batting, with Howarth striding off the pitch citing some euphemism that could be loosely translated into “fuck sake.”

A score of 88 on a docile pudding of a pitch would be based around nobody in particular, with minor contributions from openers Williams Snr (10) and Pearson (14), Howarth himself (20) and a late cameo from Mr Reeves amounting to sweet 16. The Wootton bowling whilst barely serviceable, didn’t need to be anything other, with deliveries reaping alarming turn and variable bounce on a pitch slower than a Coronation Carriage.

Williams being analysed by some guy released from the JR.

The highlights were none, the lowlights including a Cartwright-Harris run out where both wore big flappy shoes and shiny red noses, a Hoskins cob after his 278th career lbw and Tall Bob venturing out to the middle to swat a marsh fly and then dragging his bat back again looking like someone had stolen his cats and dogs.

Moods were then elevated by Mummy Hambridge’s excellent teas, and the now lovely afternoon sunshine where you could stand and enjoy banter with the clearly inferior opposition. It’s always interesting to see how this mirrored opponent has survived the winter, who has been eating all the Sunday roasts, who has been finishing the Sunday roast leftovers and who is the most moribund about doing something fucking useful this year.

Sergeant Pearson [batting] is welcomed back into MAD ranks.

As the second innings got underway, it quickly became apparent the home side would get value for playing their shots and not be using 29.4 overs in building a shit total [and amen for that]. Whilst the bowling was okay on the whole [Rundle 3-1-17-1 the pick], the batting was carefree as the scoreboard galloped along. The only blemish in proceedings was the apparent brainfart of scorer J. Hotson**, with N. Hambridge (47*) morphing into one of the other helmeted batters and then becoming “out” when clearly “not out” [i.e still fucking batting]. He also received rich applause for a fifty he never achieved and perhaps never even played in the first place.

If one could pick out a Dom Perignon moment from this discordant Pathé showreel, it would either of been Newman-Robson’s lovely fingernail catch at mid-off or Junior Joe* throwing himself forwards to grab an edge off R. Wastie (12 and who had a bus to catch). We can also report that there were no further cobs from J. Hoskins as Wootton cantered to a 7-wicket victory with N. Hambridge unbeaten on 258 not out.

Post-match beers were again consumed at The Red Lion, the garden now bathed in late afternoon sunshine with the pants and knickers of the landlords drying out in timely fashion on the clothesline. After match awards barely provided a microcosm of interest, everyone in attendance agreed to lay the blame for defeat with Geoff Carter [recently arrived after seeing his beloved U’s escape the drop].

All is good in The MAD world, see you all in a few weeks’ time.

* - Age won the day

** - Hotson was later unavailable for comment.

’Lance A. Rotti’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Wootton & Bladon CC Played at Cassington, 07 May 2023 Wootton & Bladon CC won the toss and elected to field Wootton & Bladon CC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

23 / 586 35 over match

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	Horne	10	(19)	-	-	1-24
2	J. W. Pearson †	c Hambridge b Wastie	14	(36)	1	-	2-32
3	J. Harris	run out (Doggett)	6	(15)	-	-	3-36
4	J. A. Cartwright	b Poole	3	(17)	-	-	4-39
5	I. Howarth *	c Horne	20	(40)	-	-	5-55
6	J. D. Hoskins	lbw b Dale	5	(15)	-	-	6-65
7	K. A. Kawada-Williams	b Dale	4	(7)	-	-	7-77
8	M. K. Reeves	b Horne	16	(21)	1	-	8-88
9	J. Newman-Robson	b Angus	0	(7)	-	-	9-88
10	M. S. Rundle	not out	0	(1)	-	-	10-88
11	C. D. Roberts	b Angus	0	(1)	-	-
	Extras	NB1, W5, LB1, B3	10
	TOTAL	(all out, 29.4 overs)	88

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Barber	7	0	21	0	3.00
2	Wastie	7	0	15	2	2.14
3	Dale	7	0	19	3	2.71
4	Poole	7	0	23	1	3.29
5	Angus	1	0	10	1	10.00
6	Horne	0.4	0	0	2	0.00

Team	Wootton & Bladon CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Wastie	c Cartwright b Roberts	12	(15)	1	-	1-21
2	A. Horne *	b Rundle	21	(41)	3	-	2-53
3	N. Hambridge	not out	47	(21)	7	-	3-79
4	N. Angus	c Newman-Robson	6	(13)	-	-
5	J. J. Bouwer	not out	0	(1)	-	-
6	A. Collett
7	D. De Bono
8	G. Doggett †
9	S. Poole
10	W. Dale
11	J. Barber
	Extras	NB1, W1, LB1, B1	4
	TOTAL	(for 3 wickets, 15 overs)	90

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Newman-Robson	4	0	13	0	3.25
2	Roberts	3	0	22	1	7.33
3	Reeves	3	0	19	0	6.33
4	Rundle	3	1	17	1	5.67
5	Hoskins	1	0	6	0	6.00
6	Harris	1	0	11	1	11.00

MOTM: M. S. Rundle Champagne Moment: J. A. Cartwright’s superlative diving catch at gully Buffet Award: J. Harris MAD Moment: I. Howarth’s desperate search for his box forgetting he was already wearing it….

Opposition: V025 / 037 Ground: G067 / 009 Captain: C007 / 070 Match No: 35 / 216