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“The Cob Inspectorate”

 

 

Match:  24 / 621

Lost by 35 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

Ferring CC

190 - 2

R. Turner  1 - 18

 

FFTMCC

155 - 9

J. Harris  56*,  R. Turner  35

 

 

 

 

During a particularly challenging dump recently, the correspondent, an erstwhile MAD under performer, was scrolling the depths of the internet for reading material and chanced upon the mythical MAD Glossary. Starting on the A-F section, long since memories were rekindled, and a few chuckles were had along the way. Having reached the lower reaches of that initial section something was troubling me. As I read the entry for the classic 'Dark Thoughts', I started to have my own, which was very meta.

 

Someone had deleted the entry for Cob. FFS.

 

 

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The iconic ‘Dark Thoughts’ of one Mr A. Mann circa 2005.

 

 

Cobs have always been fundamental to the way that our club of man children have conducted themselves on the field of play. Many of these have been as a result of being sawn off by a team mate umpire when in full flow on 3 off 14 balls. Others, often the more volatile variety, have seen their genesis in the purveyor's own inadequacies. There have been notable cobbers over the years in our ranks, Howarth, for example, is a reliable performer, with colourful language and occasional episodes of kit abuse and threats of violence. The lesser spotted Parkinson even had his own sub-category of Cob in the Glossary, for launching his bat over the pavilion at Pembroke, following a particularly intriguing interpretation of the lbw law from his former neighbour, Nick Hebbes. Alas this entry has also been deleted by an overzealous administrator.

 

 

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There was a pleasing continuity, with the identification of the glaring omission from the Glossary and Saturday's match v Ferring CC. A new entrant into the Pantheon of Greatness of Cobbing was anointed. MAD pin-up boy, Andrew Darley, usually so mild mannered and soft of voice, announced his arrival with true, rockstar levels of cobbing not seen before in this quiet corner of the county. Had Keith Moon decided to play local cricket, this is how he would have cobbed. He is sitting on a cloud somewhere nodding his approval. Darley had arrived. The money men behind the MAD had promised that he would put bums on seats after his big money transfer to the MAD, several years ago. Oh yes, this was box office. The Cobber's Cob.

 

Cob on Baby.

 

 

’The Cob Inspector’