“Yoot Will Have Its Day”

Match: 27 / 639

Lost by 112 runs

Team	Total
Nettlebed CC	198
I. Howarth 4 - 40, M. Rundle 3 - 33
FFTMCC	86
D. Shorten 33

As we drove back home, the earlier drops we felt in a beer garden whilst conducting a post-mortem of the season gave way to a downpour. Darkening skies, rain splattered windows and Dave Shorten’s van heading to the mechanics, it all felt so very final. Curtains drawn on another MAD season, they seemingly go quicker by the year.

At least the weather waited until the evening to dump its load, as last year’s swansong against this same opposition was abandoned at half-time. Maybe in hindsight, that might have been the preferred option for today?

Having thirteen players available for the climax of 2024, Nettlebed were most accommodating in a MAD request to play them all, with two subbed after the first innings for the remainder. In truth, they probably realised this pub team had crap in depth. These midgame tactical swaps were left to Skipper Turner, as it should be, a man with shoulders big enough to accept the blame for everything and equally not averse to passing it on to Geoff.

Winning the toss and as is his want, Russ opted to get the fielding out the way to better enjoy his BYO teas. Entrusted with the new ball, Shorten and Howarth were reasonably tidy up front, with the latter only throwing one beamer to head. Following a wicket apiece, there then followed a period of chasing leather to bushes, goalframes, benches, trees, parked cars, riverbanks and dense foliage as the home team progressed past drinks and past a hundred.

Pyrah gives it a whack. In the air and not quite as far as he wanted.

Mr Rundle (3-33) has been nothing short of rejuvenated since his death a few years ago, bringing that metronomic rhythm to proceedings and bagging many an important scalp less a game is drifting away. Here, once again he underscored his importance, bagging the wicket of Harms (52) after being clobbered for six. The perfect slower thingamajig that doesn’t really own a name, but everyone knows when he’s bowled it. He was complemented by Timms, twirling away from the thick bracken end, figures of (2-50) not quite doing him justice, his spell rewarded by the castling of Offwood, a classic dollop of leg spin if ever thus.

The Nettlebed innings would complete with the very last ball, Pyrah pouching his second and a returning Howarth collecting 4-40. The total not quite 200 but very much 198. Players now retreated to their tupperware boxes and Ginsters’ pasties, or simply sank a beer in absence of any nutritional support.

During this ambient interlude, Howarth and (keeper) Hotson made way for Emerson and Carter, our enigmatic Kiwi taking a seasonal bow and our legendary OAP the resultant blame. Howarth cold showered and Hotson did some vape.

Ainsworth manages to hit a red round thing.

In reply, openers Williams and Ainsworth looked relatively serene until it wasn’t. 29-0 quickly dissolved into 32-5 as The MAD posted three partnerships of fuck all in a collection of six for the day. David Emerson last played for The MAD in the August of 2022, a match at home against Islip after getting drunk on Tour in the Isle-of-Wight. He bowled some shit that day and didn’t bat, whereas here he didn’t bowl but did bat shit (out first ball). Regardless of this pithy narrative, it was a delight to have our Kiwi back in the fold and if he gets some continuity out on the pitch next term, he can still be that excellent all-rounder we know him to be.

There is a lot to be said about the ageing process, the time-related deterioration of the human body, the slowing of brain and natural reactions. Here it showed in spades, youngsters Vockins and Offwood (7-4-4-2) way too good for the pub’s collective ageing all-stars (or venerable pissheads).

Mr Emerson wafts at something (stumps out of shot sadly).

A desultory innings would be briefly illuminated by MOTM Shorten (33), opening those builder’s shoulders and smacking a few amongst a gaggle of spectators down cow. But even this upsurge in positivity would come to a juddering halt, a superlative catch on the boundary's edge by a tumbling McAllister, underlining once again that youth would have its day. With Robert’s (9) late flourish ending in a pair of hands, it was all over. Geoff remained defiant and unbeaten on 0 not out and for once, largely blameless.

We enjoyed Nettlebed’s company post-match and emptied their fridge of any cider, we wish them well for the next few weeks. Thereafter it was off to the nearby White Hart pub to sit in the cold at a picnic table, rather than the cosy, stylish and mostly empty insides. Here the team joked about Mr Emerson's performance, discussed Bob's recent propensity for diving a week early in the field, the quality of creamery at The Cheese Shed, why the team are shit on the whole and haven’t won since Tour and what really happened to Lego and his work's van. More than everything, the team recognised and celebrated they are part of a wonderful thing and very much look forward to the following season.

Never take it too serious, lads. Here’s to 2025!

‘Coward Howard’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Nettlebed CC Played at Nettlebed, 15 September 2024 Far From the MCC won the toss and elected to field Nettlebed CC won by 112 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

27 / 639 35 over match

Team	Nettlebed CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Harmes †	b Rundle	52		7	1	1-3
2	J. McCallister	c Williams b Howarth	1		-	-	2-10
3	H. Graham	c Reeves b Shorten	6		1	-	3-115
4	R. Graham	c Ainsworth b Timms	43		6	-	4-115
5	O. Offwood	b Timms	17		2	-	5-133
6	S. Butler *	c Pyrah	11		2	-	6-162
7	O. Simmons	not out	36		3	2	7-167
8	R. Vaughn Davis	b Rundle	4		1	-	8-188
9	T. Vockins	c Shorten b Howarth	6		1	-	9-198
10	L. Vockins	b Howarth	8		-	1	10-198
11	J. Vaughn Davis	c Pyrah b Howarth	0		-	-
	Extras	NB2, W8, LB1, B3	14
	TOTAL	(all out, 35 overs)	198

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Shorten	5	0	10	1	2.00
2	Howarth	7	1	40	4	5.71
3	Reeves	6	0	41	0	6.83
4	Roberts	4	0	21	0	5.25
5	Rundle	7	0	33	3	4.71
6	Timms	6	0	50	2	8.33

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	b Offwood	15	(13)	2	-	1-29
2	L. G. Ainsworth	c Simmons b T. Vockins	8	(20)	1	-	2-29
3	J. S. Pyrah	c Harmes b T. Vockins	0	(14)	-	-	3-29
4	D. Emerson	b T. Vockins	0	(1)	-	-	4-32
5	R. P. Turner *	c McCallister b	1	(18)	-	-	5-32
6	D. Shorten	c McCallister b	33	(31)	5	2	6-73
7	M. K. Reeves	c Harmes b Butler	6	(15)	1	-	7-73
8	G. J. Timms	b Butler	0	(4)	-	-	8-73
9	C. D. Roberts	c Simmons b J. Vaughn Davis	10	(14)	2	-	9-86
10	M. S. Rundle	c Offwood b Simmons	0	(12)	-	-	10-86
11	G. Carter	not out	0	(4)	-	-
12	J. C. W. Hotson †
13	I. Howarth
	Extras	NB1, W2, LB2, B8	13
	TOTAL	(all out, 24.1 overs)	86

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	T. Vockins	7	2	26	3	3.71
2	Offwood	7	4	4	2	0.57
3	Butler	5	0	13	2	2.60
4	Simmons	5	1	33	2	6.60
5	J. Vaughn Davis	0.1	0	0	1	0.00
Notes: J. C. W. Hotson and I. Howarth fielded, replaced by G. Carter and D. Emerson in the batting order (after 1st inns)

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: L. G. Ainsworth’s sliding catch in the outfield Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ curated cheese platter (chive dip) MAD Moment: I. Howarth tumbling over a chair and lady after stepping backwards to take a team photo

Opposition: V116 / 004 Ground: G106 / 004 Captain: C024 / 099 Match No: 35 / 240