“Amorim 2 The Other Lot 1

We Got Stuffed”

Match: 25 / 643

Lost by 115 runs

Team	Total
Sydenham CC	244 - 3
J. Nickel 2 - 18
FFTMCC	129 - 9
C. Williams 28, J. Nickel 16

With the vagaries of work and other pressing matters consigning Sunday’s cricketing fiasco to distant memory, and with our MAD journalistic team failing to find neither the enthusiasm nor the time to put fingers on keyboards, the job was passed across the Atlantic to a man stripped to his Oldham Athletic shorts soaking up the sun on a rooftop balcony. Juggling large chunks of doing fuck all, walks on beautiful beaches and tackling pints of cider for lunch (and dinner and supper), surely there is no better scribe to write a quick essay on something he knew bugger all about and failed to witness?

Winning the toss, Captain Turner had little hesitation in sticking the oppo in on a glorious pitch for batting in this seemingly neverending UK early summer drought. Sadomasochism at its finest.

Officers Darley and Nickel were tidy up front with the red round thing, the latter continuing to impress in his debut season (2-18) despite only experiencing abject defeat. This is of course the learning curve that all cricketers who join this famous pub team must come to terms with. Once embraced, you can then relax back into that wonderfully comforting universe of underachievement and cynical but glorious pathos.

Back to the game and after the first ten overs were flung down, most of all The MAD bowling thereafter got summarily twatted around Oxfordshire. A very solid home team would register just 53 short of 300, with half a dozen of their players sleeping the innings away in their deckchairs with a can or two of lager. Pick of the shite with ball was possibly Shorten (over ten an over), but in fairness to him, several others gave him extremely stiff competition judging from a very ‘busy’ scorebook. The only respite during the afternoon carnage came from any applicable drinks breaks, and of course injury timeouts when using your head to catch a ball (Turner below).

In reply, the ever-reliable Williams (28) and ever-enthusiastic Shorten passed fifty together in just the ninth over. Subsequent to that milestone, both were castled by young speedster C. Jones (2-21). Harris would once again be lbw, this time to one hitting his belly button, but the rest of the team collapsed as quickly as an over-stretched hospital in Northern Gaza.

Only Geoff battled on, uniting with Nickel (16) for a period towards the end, attempting to stupefy the Syds with a rash of dots and wafts at thin air, until enough was quite frankly enough. For the record, Captain Turner elected not to bat, but thankfully didn’t need a trip to the Fineprint-Rundle sponsored A&E of the JR.

In summary, MAD lose by quite a lot and it was a bit crap. And probably Geoff’s fault.

Rare action shot of MAD batsman hitting the ball.

Back in the southern Portugueses, the sun shines brightly and the thoughts of the author turn to the evening’s epic European showdown between the two worst established Premiership teams in the UK. I’m putting it here now, as will be confirmed to the team via WhatsApp, *Head coach Amorim gets that victory under his belt tonight (2-1) and Jim finally starts building that lavish new Old Trafford he’s been dreaming of for over fifty years. Spurs sack their doom-monger Aussie currently in charge, and all is well with the world as their trophy cabinet gets similarly sacked off in the morning.

See some of you in the now expected **drizzle this Sunday for another stop/start affair and DL confusion.

* - Proof if ever why this author does not gamble.

** - Proof if ever of the above statement.

’Alan Garve’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far From the MCC versus Sydenham CC Played at Aston Rowant (Pitch B), 18 May 2025 Far From the MCC won the toss and elected to field Sydenham CC won by 115 runs Far from the MCC debuts: n/a

25 / 643 35 over match

Team	Sydenham CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	P. Brine	c Shorten b Nickel	9	(20)	2	-	1-15
2	T. Roe	b Nickel	1	(17)	-	-	2-19
3	D. Bradley *	b Rundle	29	(38)	5	-	3-89
4	M. Oliver	not out	117	(89)	17	-
5	M. Lovelock	not out	73	(48)	9	1
6	J. Blakeley
7	T. Blakeley
8	M. Usmani
9	A. Campbell †
10	C. Jones
11	R. Lang
	Extras	NB2, W6, LB3, B4	15
	TOTAL	(for 3 wickets, 35 overs)	244

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Darley	6	0	28	0	4.67
2	Nickel	7	1	18	2	2.57
3	Rundle	6	0	34	1	5.67
4	Timms	2	0	23	0	11.50
5	Shorten	5	0	51	0	10.20
6	Harris	4	0	36	0	9.00
7	Reeves	5	0	45	0	9.00

Team	Far From the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	C. T. J. Williams	b Jones	28	(30)	5	-	1-50
2	D. Shorten	b Jones	14	(26)	1	-	2-51
3	J. Harris	lbw b T. Blakeley	9	(25)	1	-	3-69
4	A. J. Darley	c & b J. Blakeley	5	(15)	1	-	4-78
5	M. S. Rundle	run out	8	(18)	1	-	5-85
6	M. K. Reeves	c J. Blakeley b	7	(18)	1	-	6-88
7	G. Carter	c J. Blakeley b	10	(31)	-	-	7-88
8	G. J. Timms	b T. Blakeley	0	(2)	-	-	8-127
9	J. E. Nickel	lbw b Bradley	16	(20)	2	-	9-129
10	J. C. W. Hotson †	not out	0	(5)	-	-
11	R. P. Turner *	absent hurt
	Extras	NB3, W20, LB3, B6	32
	TOTAL	(for 9 wickets, 31.1 overs)	129

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts	Econ
1	Lang	7	0	32	0	4.57
2	Jones	5	0	21	2	4.20
3	J. Blakeley	6	0	16	1	2.67
4	T. Blakeley	5	0	15	3	3.00
5	Brine	2	0	17	0	8.50
6	Usmani	3	0	16	0	5.33
7	Bradley	2.1	0	2	2	0.92
8	Roe	1	0	1	0	1.00

MOTM: J. E. Nickel Champagne Moment: M. S. Rundle bowling a batsman Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ cream teas (extra scones and jam) MAD Moment: M. S. Rundle run out whilst backing up

Opposition: V110 / 005 Ground: G102 / 005 Captain: C024 / 103 Match No: 35 / 244