“Savage Rabbit Cull Leaves Enstone Awash in Blood”
Match: 26
/ 670
Won by 34 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
108 |
|
C. Vermaak
29*, C.
Waite 13* |
|
|
|
|
|
Enstone CC |
74 |
|
M. Rundle
4 - 9,
C. Vermaak
3 - 18 |
|
|
Stumbling out of another
dark and wet winter, where the best laid plans for social events and jolly
MAD gatherings mostly go down the shitter, the team rocked up at a ground
infamous for its early season Alaskan temperatures and a sun last seen half a
decade ago. Enstone is and always will be the inaugural match of a FFTMCC
season, largely because it is, and the incumbent fixture secretary doesn't go
above and beyond his job remit anymore. Nope, he simply follows the
year-on-year protocol, replies to the year-on-year emails, ticks a few boxes
with other similarly jaded, life-weary individuals, and then pats himself on
the back having ‘really’ pulled out all the goods for achieving nothing more
considerable than a… “Y”.
Williams (on strike) in the firing line. Another reason Enstone
provides a suitable opening fixture is by making use of their artificial
pitch, a neat way to avoid an early season lottery played out a muddy WWII
minefield featuring shooters and skidders. The downside is that after a
botched upgrade to the plastic turf a couple of seasons ago (read downgrade),
the strip now offers up shooters and skidders, pop at both ends and lateral
movement for bowlers (flan-tossers) who would never
understand the why or how the fuck? Notwithstanding the odd unplayable ball
and accompanying swear words, the arena does throw some interesting games up,
of which this was very much one. After a gentlemen’s
agreement between Skippers, Watts and Turner then thought better and reverted
to the tossing of a coin (if it ain't broken etc).
Having guessed the outcome correctly, Russ sat his arse on a sunny bench to
enjoy the show. However, what he did witness, until reaching for his pads,
was a succession of MAD batsmen play and miss, a few whack it here and there,
and most of everybody leaving the field of play with scores that won’t be
remembered much beyond Monday.
Mr Reverse. Most of everyone
troubled the scorers, other than Rundle who was pretty shit, but nobody
produced ‘that’ score which would dictate the game. The two Chris’s looked
okay, Williams with a punchy 12 and debutant Waite a promising 13, but aside
from a reverse-orientated 10 from Timms, it was all… erm, pretty forgettable.
‘Honey’ (Mr Mead – wine, geddit?) looked okay until he was triggered by
Geoff, Spam saw off the dangerous Tahir (7-3-10-2) before edging behind to an
11yr old, Reevsie (8) underscored why he was crap last season, Turner (4)
wished he hadn’t and Big John (Pyrah) continues to misunderstand why he fails
to go big anymore (2). 73-8 and all shittier than an out-house in rural
Cumbria. At this point in the
game, MAD minds were already on the bar and the cost of petrol for the day.
Step forth house-flipper, Mr. Vermaak to change the dynamics of the day.
Whilst not exactly known for his batting (he has one shot), Corne used his
one smear to great effect, helped in no small part by the Enstone bowlers
bowling him a swathe of half-trackers. Of course, this wasn’t Corne's fault,
but they still need cowing, which he did, multiple times including a huge six
as he bashed up his highest MAD score of 29*. This may well have been
significantly more, however Umpire Carter saw fit to
end The MAD innings prematurely by giving Jake out lbw halfway down the
track. 108 all out and time for BYO teas, particularly if you remembered to
bring some BYO teas.
Mr Vermaak utilising his one cricket shot. Despite the lowly
target, Enstone would stutter early in their reply with Pyrah (1-22) and
Vermaak bowling an admirable length on that variable wicket. The innings
would be largely anchored around keeper Forder (in at #4), a consummate
batsman to go with his tidy glovesmanship, with the added annoyance of being
a left-hander (when will they ban them?) All routine then at 54-3 and the
home team exactly halfway to their target. Talk before the match
was all about a world that doesn’t really exist. One where The MAD team have
random values associated to their perceived batting, bowling and all-rounder
skills. In this Fantasy world, JMO is the king and he presides over all
variables and outcomes, and if things go tits up, he either blames an archaic
Mac laptop or his sidekick, Mr Timms. But who was a pre-season bargain
buy? Who was a complete rip-off? Nobody really knows, but one thing people were in agreement with, was Mr Rundle’s lofty bowling
cost, because as everyone knows, if there are lower-order rabbits to cull, he
is the ultimate bunny boiler!
There was no photo stock of Rundle’s rabbit
culling, so here’s one of him having just got a duck. Following Mr Reeves’
(1-20) inglorious slip to his arse whilst marking his run-up, he hauled
himself up to work in tandem with the furry mammal slayer, Mark justifying
people’s Fantasy sheckles at the other end with whatever he does. Not all
Psycho’s victims had whiskers and a scut you understand, he also accounted
for Forder (29) who for reasons all to himself, slogged one in the air to the
safe hands of Timms when very well set. The home team would now slide from 67-5
to eventually become… well, 78 all out. During this capitulation, Mr Rundle
returned his best MAD figures of 4-9, with Mr Hotson having a splendid day
hurling himself behind the timber whilst keeping the extras to a minimum
(gimp mask dented in the process).
Take a bow, Corne. Following the conclusion
of the match and discussions inevitably turned to beer, records and of course
fantasy point accruals. These animated blatherings had people musing on Geoff’s
tally for umpiring, Da Chair’s haul for scoring and Mr Nickel for choosing
Birthdays and spectating over helping himself to a 5-fer. Records?
Apparently, and most astonishingly, this was the lowest ever winning total
batting first by The MAD in a 35 over game over the course of their
star-studied, pub existence. Previous efforts were match #156 v R. T. Harris in
2008 where 114 was defended against a backdrop of a Morler’s
ballad, and match #349
v OUP at Brasenose in 2015 – where 117-8 was defended (Mr. Bullock top
scoring with 32 on that day!) under the intriguingly titled match report “Rundle
Runs Riot” (4-19) – the exact figures he beat on this day! As a footnote to all the
above ramblings, a debt of gratitude must be made mention for David Shorten’s
keen organising of winter nets. They of course did provide some degree of
cheer and social interaction, and of course another benefit would see the
doors open to a few new faces – some of whom would embed themselves in the
first MAD team photo of the season.
A very warm welcome to new and not-so-new FFTMCC
faces. ’Spam’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far From the MCC versus Enstone CC Played at Enstone, 26 April 2026 Far From the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Far From the MCC won by 34 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Christopher
James Waite (172) |
26 / 670 35 over match |
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. T. J.
Williams |
c Forder b Rowan |
12 |
(18) |
1 |
- |
1-18 |
|
2 |
M. W.
Mead |
lbw b T. Peterson |
6 |
(14) |
1 |
- |
2-23 |
|
3 |
C .J. Waite |
c Ahmed b Khan |
13 |
(29) |
1 |
- |
3-6 |
|
4 |
R. P.
Turner * |
c Forder b Khan |
4 |
(18) |
- |
- |
4-39 |
|
5 |
I.
Howarth |
c Forder b Rowan |
9 |
(22) |
1 |
- |
5-60 |
|
6 |
M .K. Reeves |
c Ahmed |
8 |
(19) |
1 |
- |
6-65 |
|
7 |
G .J. Timms |
c Khan b J. Watts |
10 |
(27) |
1 |
- |
7-65 |
|
8 |
M. S.
Rundle |
c unknown b Rowan |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
8-73 |
|
9 |
J .S. Pyrah |
c unknown b Ahmed |
2 |
(12) |
- |
- |
9-93 |
|
10 |
C. J.
Vermaak |
not out |
29 |
(24) |
4 |
1 |
10-108 |
|
11 |
J. C. W.
Hotson † |
lbw |
2 |
(15) |
- |
- |
|
|
|
Extras |
NB3, W8, B2 |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 32.5 overs) |
108 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
T.
Peterson |
7 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
4.29 |
|
|
2 |
Rowan |
7 |
1 |
12 |
4 |
1.71 |
|
|
3 |
Khan |
7 |
3 |
10 |
2 |
1.43 |
|
|
4 |
Mohammed |
2 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
6.50 |
|
|
5 |
Watts |
5 |
1 |
23 |
1 |
4.60 |
|
|
6 |
Ahmed |
4.5 |
0 |
18 |
2 |
3.72 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Enstone CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
S. Brown |
c Turner b Vermaak |
9 |
(16) |
2 |
- |
1-7 |
|
2 |
H. Ahmed |
b Pyrah |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
2-14 |
|
3 |
Jamie |
b Vermaak |
2 |
(4) |
- |
- |
3-22 |
|
4 |
F.
Forder † |
c Timms b Rundle |
29 |
(56) |
4 |
- |
4-54 |
|
5 |
Mohammed |
b Reeves |
11 |
(14) |
2 |
- |
5-56 |
|
6 |
T. Khan |
c Pyrah b Vermaak |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
6-67 |
|
7 |
J. Watts
* |
c Williams b Rundle |
4 |
(34) |
- |
- |
7-67 |
|
8 |
Kieran |
c Pyrah b Rundle |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
8-72 |
|
9 |
F.
Peterson |
c Reeves b Rundle |
2 |
(16) |
- |
- |
9-73 |
|
10 |
Rowan |
run out (Timms/Hotson) |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
10-74 |
|
11 |
T.
Peterson |
not out |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
|
|
|
Extras |
W8, LB2, B3 |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 25.4 overs) |
74 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Econ |
|
|
1 |
Pyrah |
5 |
0 |
22 |
1 |
4.40 |
|
|
2 |
Vermaak |
7 |
0 |
18 |
3 |
2.57 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
7 |
1 |
20 |
1 |
2.86 |
|
|
4 |
Rundle |
5.4 |
1 |
9 |
4 |
1.59 |
|
|
5 |
Timms |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
0.00 |
|
|
MOTM: C. J. Vermaak Champagne Moment: C. J. Vermaak’s huge
six over cow Buffet Award: J. S. Pyrah’s jam doughnuts (extra strawberry filling) MAD
Moment: M. K. Reeves’ slipping on his
arse whilst marking his run up |
Opposition:
V073 / 015 Ground: G061 / 010 Captain: C024 / 117 Match No: 35 / 256 |