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“A MAD Fantasy”

(Contribution/book excerpt “Not at This Level” by James Hoskins – 2017)

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I still remember the time clearly when MAD Fantasy Cricket was finally conceived – travelling down the M40 (or were we on the M25 by then?), four (or was it five?) MADsters on an out of season social in late 2005 (or was it early 2006?) – we were definitely in Moo’s car (I think) and very definitely on our way to see Stevie D (although I can’t remember why), so yes, crystal clear memories indeed.

I think we were talking about Fantasy Football and I think I was probably commenting on how shit it was that we all spent hours poring over Fantasy Football Costs to enter a team into a National Newspaper for a fiver only to find five weeks later that we were in 141,323rd position out of 143,158 entrants, with little or no idea of who we had picked in the first place and very little interest remaining in the whole thing.

How much more fun it would be if we could play Fantasy Cricket we all thought… and hang on, what if we did it with our OWN team? By the time we had rolled up in Stevenage the seed had been set, a basic format drawn out and MAD Fantasy Cricket was alive. With a genuine interest in the mathematical challenges (of creating a costing algorithm to ensure it would not be an easy task to select a team you really wanted without spending all available resources), I enthusiastically volunteered to run the competition for the following season... just to see how it went….

Any mistakes are because of JMO’s MAC and not JMO.

It is indeed quite a challenge to ensure all of the players are priced in such a way, so their cost reflects potential point scoring ability over the forthcoming season, and no doubt readers are wondering the exact ins-and-outs of the algorithm that produces the costings. But I couldn’t possibly reveal that (since it is not an exact science). Suffice to say it is a subtle mix of previous form (over as long as the player has been playing), net rumours and head sizes. I’ve always thought that an indication of getting the pricing policy right is the variance in teams selected – and over the years there have only ever been a handful of duplicate teams. Although as Jake once pointed out to me, that might have something to do with the fact that there are 593,775 possible ways of selecting 6 players out of 30!

Now, due to a fatal backup failure at the end of the 2010 season (and it wasn’t a MAC in those days) original MAD Fantasy records have sadly been lost in the ether, but I seem to remember that we had about ten teams entering that first year for a meagre £25 first prize. Year on year the popularity and intrigue of the competition has seen the number of entries soar to over 50, with the most recent First prize award of £135! If current trends continue as shown by the graph below, we should hit 100 entries by the year 2028!

Over the years the rules have been tinkered and tailored. Most rule changes have stayed, and I think the only rule change that was reversed was that of ‘substitutions’ – an idea to keep your interest as a Team Manager should one of your players become injured or have a baby mid-season. I have no idea why I thought that one would be possible to administer, and substitutions were quickly replaced by ‘Jokers’ as a way for lower rank teams to boost their way up the table. Jokers remain as a popular feature and now include not only Sunday game Joker play, but also T20 Jokers and the horrendously complicated (if your name is Darley) ‘Tour’ Jokers.

For history’s sake here are the rules:

Select SIX players for your MAD Fantasy Cricket Team that cost a total of no more than 100 points. Not forgetting to name your team something obscure (see Mark Rundle), insulting (see Mark Rundle), deeply offensive (see Mark Rundle), or bizarre (erm... see Mark Rundle).

Rundle (left) amusing some equally crude idiot with some deeply offensive joke.

All team entered into the competition are awarded a Sunday Joker and a T20 Joker to be played at any point during the season, for which your Team’s points will be trebled (for that match). A Tour Joker is also awarded per team and can be played on any touring player in your Team for which that Player’s points scored (on Tour) will be trebled.

Rule changes as expected are directly proportional to the number of queries I get about the rules, but in the case of a certain Mr A. Darley, rule changes particularly surrounding Jokers are exponentially proportional to the number of queries I get as shown by the graph below:

Basic rules indeed, but it’s remarkable how much confusion this can cause in MAD ranks – such as the absolute total misunderstanding of the whole point of the game after a certain Mr D. Edwards entered a team costing 142 points which consisted of the six most expensive players. I seem to remember an email chain ensued….

Dan: “Well I want those six because they are the best.”

Me: “But you can’t afford them.”

Dan: “Who can I afford then?”

Me: “Six players that cost no more than 100.”

Dan: “So who can I swap out of my team?”

Me: “For example you can swap Howarth out for Dobner and it will save you ten points.”

Dan: ”I’ll do that then.”

Me: “OK, so now your team costs 132 points.”

Dan: “So who else can I drop?”

Me: “You could have the bottom six players.”

Dan: “But half of them don’t even play.”

…and so, it went on….

Fantasy wasn’t one of Edwards’ strong points.

It has to be said I am not without fault during the scoring of the Fantasy Points following a match. No matter how carefully I pore over the scorecard I often seem to forget to account for a catch; or an Economy Bonus; or some clever algorithm I have put into my spreadsheet fails to account for a Duck; or a typo in a player’s name means they aren’t credited for their points… but it’s usually within about three minutes of sending out the summary mail that I will get a flurry of emails from the player I forgot the catch/bonus for; the Managers who have that player in their teams and most consistently of all – a certain Mr G. Timms who I am sure has a Fantasy Cricket Spreadsheet all of his own installed permanently in his Cerebrum which updates ball by ball as the Match unfolds. I am eternally grateful to all these corrections as it keeps us all honest and above all, means that people are actually paying attention – so that must be a good sign.

I am proud of the fact that Fantasy Cricket continues to entertain and has become an integral part of MAD ethos. Discussion ensues pre-match around whether or not to play Jokers and often in the field you can hear that extra groan from a Fantasy Manager when one of their Players drops a catch. Post-match comes the accusations of dropped Fantasy points or handshakes for good Fantasy performances.

So, since we are all gluttons for statistics – here are a few MAD Fantasy stats for our amusement below:

Highest Fantasy Points scored by a single player in a Match: 211 J. Newman-Robson (vs OUP 2013)

Highest Total Team Fantasy Point Score in a Season: 5,128 C. D. Roberts (Cheese and Pineapple)

Number of cells in the 2017 Fantasy spreadsheet: 123,475 (no wonder I make so many mistakes!)

2022 winner G. J. Timms’ receiving a piece of broken glass.

‘Stan’

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MAD (Archived) Fantasy Rules

“Rule Changes Circa 2019+”

Punters!

YES! It’s that time of year – the winter is almost over – time to dust off your laptops, fire up the spreadsheets and get those hats out for picking your teams! Fantasy prices are being published early this season so you can take advantage of net rumours and get your head around the… [insert drum roll here]… NEW RULES!!!

This season you are required to select:

THREE BATSMEN (using the Batsmen costings)

THREE BOWLERS (using the Bowler costings)

& ONE WICKET KEEPER (using the Keeper costings)

For a total of no more than 130 Points!

Batsmen will receive BATTING and FIELDING points

Bowlers will receive BOWLING and FIELDING points

Keepers will receive BATTING, KEEPING and FIELDING points

You cannot select the same player more than once.

Apart from that, all rules remain the same. Note these prices are nothing to do with ability or non-ability – they are based on average scores over the last three years, indexed to 130 points and furtled about with ever so slightly to make things interesting!

The latest costs for the coming season will be published soon….

‘Stan’

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“Adapted Rule Changes to the Above

Circa 2021 Coronavirus Pandemic+”

Punters!

Right, it’s the time of the year to get your calculators, spreadsheets, faulty Mac’s, hats and tins out.

But first – exciting news of a NEW RULE which hopefully is designed to keep more teams in it for longer should anyone catch Covid during 2021 and any subsequent years….

This season you are required to select:

THREE BATSMEN (using the Batsmen costings)

THREE BOWLERS (using the Bowler costings)

ONE WICKET KEEPER (using the Keeper costings)

AND ONE 12th MAN whose points will count IF… YOU HAVE THREE OR LESS PLAYERS PLAYING in a game!

For a total of no more than 130 Points!

Batsmen will receive BATTING and FIELDING points

Bowlers will receive BOWLING and FIELDING points

Keepers will receive BATTING, KEEPING and FIELDING points

12th Men will receive BATTING, KEEPING and FIELDING points IF they play as 12th MAN 

You cannot select the same player more than once.

JOKERS are back after being ruled out in a pandemic ruined 2020 (a JOKER will mean ALL player points TREBLED!!!)

You have a Sunday Joker, a T20 Joker and can select a Tour Joker.

All this for a FIVER per entry!

Laters!

‘Stan’

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“The VERY LATEST Adapted Rule Changes to all the Above Changes to Changes

Circa 2024+”

Webster bags the 2023 Fantasy winnings!

Punters!

Ok, with no rule changes last year it was about time we addled Darley’s brain cells and upped the Ante so here goes:

This year your team selection will consist of:

THREE BATSMEN (using the Batsmen costings)

THREE BOWLERS (using the Bowler costings)

ONE WICKET KEEPER (using the Keeper costings)

ONE ALL-ROUNDER (using the All-rounder costings) whose TOTAL points accumulated in a Match will be awarded!

AND ONE 12th MAN (using 12th man costings) whose TOTAL points will count IF… YOU HAVE FOUR OR LESS PLAYERS PLAYING in a game!

So, herewith the newly calculated MAD Fantasy Cricket Player Costs. There has been a huge manipulation in the costings formula (taking into account decades of data) which has shaken things up a little and will have you scratching your selection hats.

But first, before you go picking those teams. A wordy tome....

There will be a couple of new rule additions since Darley is obviously in need of added complication!

· Firstly, every Team will now have a new card to play. The D. R. RUSS card. This card will allow an appeal against an LBW for any of your batters that suffer this extraordinary demise at this level. When played, the D. R. RUSS card will DOUBLE the batting points for the player given out (obviously incorrectly) for that match. You will have up to one week after the Fantasy update to play this card. Each team has Only ONE D. R. RUSS appeal.

· Secondly, and this is a result of many enquiries about increasing the MAD Fantasy Cricket Entry Fee in line with inflation and cost of living. I have been against this dramatic idea of a rise (after all I haven't raised the price of a pizza recently) but do see that many of you are wanting to throw away extra cash. So, the entry fee is not increasing BUT… For every two teams entered you will have the option of upgrading one team to a TEST TEAM (for the cost of an addition £5) …IF (and only IF) a TEST TEAM should win the Fantasy Cricket League – you will collect DOUBLE the prize money allocated for first place. This is a fairly substantial prize - potentially equivalent to a whole season of cricket for FREE.

Darley, this is not to be missed!

TEST TEAMS will be highlighted in bold (or something equally as impressive) in the Fantasy Updates.

Laters,

Stan.

P.S. – Joe (Nickel) – btw everybody enters this (and many wives and girlfriends) apart from Pearson who seems to think that he can win it at will and is slightly embarrassed on the odd occasion that he has actually won... anyway, you don't want to be missing out.

‘Stan’