A picture containing clock, drawing

Description automatically generated


05-07  |  08-17  |  18  |  19  |  20-21  |  22 |  23



“2022 AGM Report




After a three-year hiatus, The MAD assembled once more atop the St Aldates in the Blue Room for the annual AGM piss-up. This would be a later meeting [Friday 3 February] as per the norm, due in no small part to certain Committee members wresting on their laurels and failing to book anything before Xmas…. The pub itself is ideally located in the centre of town near various transport hubs [if they’re not striking], boasts a great selection of beers/ciders, has friendly and knowledgeable staff and a decent projection screen and sound system.




The Blue Room is on the first floor….



Without further ado, herewith the appended notes from the evening for season 2022 … or at least the ones that are vaguely readable on a crumpled, cider-stained piece of torn paper….



‘T20 Skipper’






Part I - Notes on attendance


Apologies for absence:


Lee Ainsworth

Giant Duck  (trapped in a Honda Civic)

John Harris

James Pearson

Jonathan Newman-Robson

David Shorten

Thornton Smith

Corne Vermaak  (up some mountain somewhere)



A group of people standing in a room with a table and chairs

Description automatically generated with low confidence


David Emerson is stunned at life outside of Wallingford….






James Bateman  (via FaceTime)

Matt Bullock  (Chairman, Statto)

Geoff Carter

Andrew Darley

David Emerson

Richard Hadfield

James Hoskins

Jake Hotson  (Tour Director)

Ian Howarth  (Fixtures Secretary, Pissed Minutes)

Paddy Mellor

Mike Reeves  (Treasurer)

Chris Roberts

Mark Rundle

Gary Timms

Russell Turner  (Captain, Mike Ashley)

Jan Webster

Chris Williams

Taiga Kawada-Williams





Part II - Chairman’s Welcome


Chairing his fifty second MAD AGM’s in lieu of nobody else ever being MAD Chairman, Matt set out by stipulating the same old shit as was the previous two decades [most of this print is copy and paste to be fair]…. As ever, thanks to all who made a MAD contribution. Notable efforts were that of a tireless Committee, who also helped Jake Hotson star and direct for 1 day only on the Tour to the Isle of Wight, and of course the team as a whole for upholding the ethos of the club.


Special mention was made to this being the second AGM in a row to report on paramedics attending a MAD match. No offence to Bob, but this one seems to trump the events at Hailsham. Matt wasn’t there, probably a blessing, but we thank those who came to Psycho’s aid on 27 May at Stanton St John, some of them total strangers. Maybe best summarised by this paragraph of Spam’s match report (#564)….


“Before we left, we glanced at the pavilion and the different faces, different expressions and a different mood. Gone was Ashleigh Edwards, the amazing young lady who performed and directed CPR, gone was the lady in the village who sped a pub defibrillator to the ground, gone was the retired army guy who took ownership of the incident, and gone were all the players who watched the drama unfold. All gone, such as Mr Shorten and his calm voice to 999, Mr Vermaak and his cradling of Mark’s head, Mr Williams who helped with CPR, and all of everybody else who played a part in that evening and days after … to simply… help Mark.


Those who helped should be proud of what they did; everyone else should be grateful for what they did.”




Bullock flanked by some people we don’t know in some photographs from times we don’t remember….





Part III - Captain’s Report


Skipper Turner wore a black armband in reference to the absence of Mike Ashley [one day may return with a Coventry City shirt]. In his capacity as BOTH Skipper and the T20 Skipper it has been a very trying season. He thanks Mike/Kate for teas, references the highest player availability of the season being Tour, when he neither picked a team nor skippered…. Goes on to make mention of the following items:



A picture containing text, person, ground

Description automatically generated


Any escape from this shithouse outfit gratefully received….



Top 10 MAD replies to emails:


·       Joe replied to the availability email v Blewbury for the HQ game

·       Lego deleted the availability email v Astons so he replied to the Blewbury one

·       JP was travelling back from Ipswich so he would come & watch the HQ game then be home for the Kids bedtime!

·       Lucan asked are we at home? – Capital (H) in brackets is the clue!

·       Geoff v Appleton forgot he was on holiday!

·       Lego forgot he had arranged an Easter Egg Hunt in his forest

·       Jan forgot his in-laws were coming to stay

·       Dan Gerber v Islip – The team email stated the game was at Brasenose – Dan was half an hour late waiting at Queens even though he drove past us at Brasenose

·       27/5 Stanton St. John v HQCC the usual Corne question where are we playing? There was the usual piss taking thread but the best one came from Psycho many hours later – “WHERE AM I?”

·       My favourite – Moo answering back availability v Islip on 21/8 as “Maybe, I’ll let you know by the 23/8….”




·       One person played 24/25 games, had a shit season and fucked up anyone’s’ chance of winning the Fantasy Cricket [if you had him in your team]. Moral of the story is if you’re playing shite become Captain and you still get to play!

·       Nuno 22/25



Picks of Individual Performances

·       John Harris 5-fors [among a clutch of 4-fors]

·       Williams’ 709 runs and MAD HS of 138*

·       Darley finally bagging a second 50 after a decade of trying

·       Bateman and Lucan’s batting contributions [averaging 47.27 and 40.25 respectively]

·       JMO scoring his season’s runs in one innings at Harwell

·       Reevsie the most catchable catcher

·       Geoff for his keeping and being cheated out of a couple at H______



Memorable Conversation:

·       Player:  Hi Russ I’m not feeling 100% I was in bed all day yesterday can you get a replacement?

·       Me:  Yep, I’ll see if Geoff can play

·       Me:  Geoff I’ve had ____ drop out can you play today, please?

·       Geoff:  Yes, no problem as I was coming down to watch anyway…

·       Me:  Great thanks, Geoff.

·       Me:  Right ____, Geoff will step in, sorted.

·       Player:  Hi Russ, I’m feeling a bit better now, so I’ll man up and play…

·       Me:  But I’ve just asked Geoff and he said he’ll play…

·       Player:  Well, I’m feeling better now…

·       Me:  Okay, let me speak to Geoff again…

·       Me:  Geoff, ___ says he’ll play after all, so would you mind dropping out again?

·       Geoff:  Yes, no problem. [Geoff the Legend!]


Me:  I won’t say who the player was, but it was good job he was doing the teas!



Russ makes mention of plenty of games from the season, in particular the narrow wins over Ascott, OUP and the final match against the Mandarins that was tied. Also, the run chases and one in particular against Islip … as Russ recounts the day:


“Islip whacked 210 and they thought they wouldn’t lose, I knew we’d win, and we chased it down in just 24.5 overs! Opening partnership of 88 helped and great to see Lee back in the fold with 37 [Nuno failed with the bat contributing only 130]. I went in with 3 balls of the over left with The MAD needing just 9 runs to win….

What I thought would happen:  Lego will get a few then I’ll knock off the winnings runs in the next over

What actually happened:  Lego bang 4; bang 4; swipe for 2 & game over!

Mine was classy 0* not out as I was able to steady the ship & bring us home. I also Emerson taking a truly excellent catch … but as an Islip substitute off Dan Gerber. Fuckin Judas!”



A group of people playing cricket

Description automatically generated with low confidence


A superb 0 not out.



As a footnote to all and everything, please see the NHS Award further down this AGM waffle for the gift of ‘that’ cricket ball from Russ to a certain player.





Part V - Treasurer’s Report


Mike Reeves’ presentation differed from previous years in avoiding stat heavy details on the financial INs and OUTs and no slides whatsoever to detail which players were solvent and those that were not. This was as bare as it gets it terms of content and he obviously had a prior engagement to fill….





In other cash related news, we are around £2000 in credit. We lost around £600 last year, which was due to a lot of money making “away” games being cancelled. Against this, we had sponsorship [SONEDD] where several players invested in a new shirt and contributed to club funds. If anyone has or knows a sponsor for this year, that would be very welcome!


Subs this year will be £50 including an optional £10+ to help our groundsman.





Part VI - Fixtures and Tour for 2023


As with other presentations, Spam opted for reading from a hymn sheet to blather on about April being ignored due to the previous year’s complete apathy among players. Fixtures are largely the same [year on year] with some minor tinkering, with a few new touring teams visiting these climbs [in addition to the civil servants of the Mandarins]. Stour Provost herald from Dorset, whilst Ferring hosted The MAD in the summer of 2021 and their Tour to Brighton.


There are around 30-35 fixtures and everyone is expected to be available for every single game and any abstainers will be shot at dawn. Then there is the weather to consider, so we will probably play about 5-10 games….



A person holding a paper and standing next to a person sitting at a table

Description automatically generated with low confidence


Spam could just about mumble some words, an improvement on his minutes….



…Ian also took a break during the middle of his rambles [August] so that  (i) he could get another pint and  (ii) Mr Hotson could better explain the planned Tour to Ipswich [Suffolk] in 2023: a reacquaintance with Battisford CC and Delia Smith, and one or two journeys to Felixstowe for some astoundingly amazing Pirate Golf [naturally]. Once again, everyone is expected to Tour even if they can’t.



A group of men standing next to a person in a garment

Description automatically generated with medium confidence


Stock footage from 2018 as Giant Duck has a shit on Jake’s shoulders….





Part VII - Committee Member Elections


Once upon a time, the election of MAD officers was a popular and hugely exciting part of the evening, but now under a strict dictatorship, nobody stands against anyone in a position of power unless they can afford an attorney and/or they are pissed. One person who was [very] pissed was Ian Howarth who decided to stand as T20 Skipper. The fact he was voted in says more about the inebriated ensemble as much as anything else….


In the cold light of the morning [and post hangover], Spam would contact another unruly T20 applicant and Mr Timms duly accepted to become a member of an Autocratic T20 Power Share. This unholy union will see them contradicting each other, disagreeing with each other and hopefully winning every game.





Elected Committee Posts



Matt Bullock

- continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.


Fixtures Secretary

Ian Howarth

- continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.



Mike Reeves

- continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.



Russ Turner

- continues in his role and is duly elected, unopposed.


T20 Captain(s)

Ian Howarth  &  Gary Timms

- elected to the role, opposed by Gary who is asked and joins a Co-operative.


Vice Captain(s)

Russ, Ian and Gary and “somebody else” will step in if we’re short….

- See notes on T20 Skipper.


Sporting Director

Geoff Carter

- elected to the role, too pissed to remember to be honest.


Tour Director

Jake Hotson

- continues in his role, both ratified and duly elected, unopposed.





Non-Committee Posts


Fines Chairman(s)

Captain’s Choice

- the role will be assigned by the Skipper if he feels there is a need for fines to be levied.


Social Secretary


- the post is now redundant and falls under the Sporting Director or anyone who can be arsed.








Part VIII - General Administration for Season 2023


Nothing much to report here with Brasenose College continuing as our home cricket ground when available and Gosford Community Centre [Kidlington] providing indoor facilities for nets. Russ has confirmed nets to run from Sunday, March 26 to Sunday, April 16 as per below….







26 / 03 / 22



02 / 04 / 22



16 / 04 / 22





Players are encouraged to umpire and score to the best of their abilities, with those unwilling or uneducated in either of the roles encouraged to get educated. For non-umpires, it was suggested you could stand and do square leg at both ends. For non-scorers, sit with a scorer and learn the fucking job. Teas are to be arranged by the incumbent Skipper on the day, but usually to be underscored by Mr Reeves [so read his missus then].


Player numbers are considered okay going forwards, but any enthusiastic/interested parties are encouraged to come to nets and demonstrate an ability to touch 80mph with the ball and a batting technique that wouldn’t look out of place at Lords.



A group of people posing for a photo in front of a house

Description automatically generated


Home is where the heart is.





Part IX - FFTMCC Awards


After yet another sizeable delay whilst votes were tallied and summed, the dubious winners of the various MAD trophies and awards were announced as follows…




Williams doubles up on his POTS.…





A glass of wine

Description automatically generated


Roll of MAD Honours




Player of the Season

Chris Williams



Most Improved Player

Cornelius Vermaak



Clubman of the Year

Russ Turner



MAD Fantasy Cricket

Gary Timms

Manager ‘Timms’ … Team ‘Lucan Play That Game



Champagne Moment

Kaito Kawada-Williams

Dismissing Big Bird for his debut MAD wicket  (v OUP #569)



MAD Booker Prize

Jan Webster

“Tour – Day 1”  (v Newport CC XI #574)



MAD Moment

Thornton Smith

Getting his glove stuck retrieving a ball stuck above in the nets  (v St Clements Strollers CC #563)



‘Adrian Fisher’ Performance Trophy

Chris Williams

Nuno’s MAD HS of 138* off just 100 balls  (v Wootton & Bladon CC #580)



‘Mike Ashley’ FFTMCC NHS Award

Mark Rundle

Collapsing and dying up at Stanton St John  (v Headington Quarry CC #564)





Rundle with said ball from “that evening”….





Part X – Fantasy Stuff


Mr Hoskins’ updated everyone on things he could update people with, which wasn’t much to be honest as his Mac* was once again playing up. What JMO could define [but certainly not corroborate with hard facts] was Mr Timms scooping the Fantasy Cricket trophy [lost with James Pearson] and that Giant Duck came 2nd and 3rd despite leading practically all season…?!





To add to the shambles was the announcement of The MAD’s Most Improved Player [culled from Fantasy figures] which amounted to “…we don’t know as there is a large problem.” [the Mac*]


In time we will discover the winner of the 2022 MIP Trophy, but that won’t most probably be until 2023 when James has hopefully invested in a new laptop…. STOP PRESS: Cornelius Vermaak pips Geoff Carter to the award… on account of Geoff letting 1 bye through at Harwell CC at the end of the season else he would have won!


* - An excuse used periodically for a decrease in mental cohesion and basic arithmetic.





Part XI - Any Other Business


With the evening and venue being declared an unparalleled sporting success, players were quick to overachieve at the bar and leave phone chargers, shields and cups behind for any fucker to subsequently steal [Darley].





Here’s to a tremendous MAD season in 2023 and whatever joys and moaning it brings.