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Exhibition of Batting Incompetence

Seasons 2024 Onwards….

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An online page totally devoted to the exhibition, celebration and educational interpretation of classical batting incompetence, as performed and executed by members of the Far from the MCC. Please note there have been countless other examples since the team’s inception back in 1998, but alas a camera wasn’t present to record the event(s).

Many thanks to all the photographic contributions over the years, in particular James Hoskins, who set the benchmark in the middle noughties by mortgaging his house for a zoom lens and hifalutin Nikon. Other luminaires would be Chairman Bullock (one remembers the early Minehead Tours) and of course Mr Howarth, whose investment in a Canon reaped dividends in lieu of his dwindling time out in the middle. Lest we forget Mr Hotson’s analogue work at Garsington and Mr Williams’ modern day claims to be sports photographer of high repute.

All art pieces therein are named and displayed in chronological order, which leaves us to say…. Enjoy!

The Grubber

- R. J. B. Hadfield, Wantage v Wantage & Grove CC. 2024

After finally getting to grips with the art of batting after a lengthy winter recess, Mr Hadfield duly forgets about the ball that bounces about bootlace high most Sundays. Oops….

The Flatliner

- C. T. J. Williams, Queens College v Isis CC. 2024

In this example of unbridled joy after lengthy breaks for rain, squalls and drizzle, Mr Williams gets a ball that bounces about 5 millimetres off the ground, kisses the inside of the bat and tickles the timber. A magical day out.

The Ball Without a Bell

- G. Carter, Cassington v Ferring CC. 2024

These days, Geoff required all cricket balls to have a bell in them, otherwise he has absolutely zero chance of putting bat on, erm… ball. In the example…. oh

The King

- J. D. Hoskins, Appleton v Appleton CC. 2024

One player is dedicated to this particular photographic shrine, step forth Mr Hoskins, here caught playing a parallel line as the ball crashes into those bail things for a gorgeous golden poultry.

High Flying Balls

- C. T. J. Williams, Brasenose College v Lemmings. 2024

In this exhibit, a cricket ball is thrown from an aeroplane and with such force, it hits the ground and bounces over the keepers head upsetting the bails.

Blinding Lights

- M. K. Reeves, Carhampton, Somerset v Porlock CC. 2024

A dazzling example of the sun’s rays causing a bewildering light explosion on Mr Reeves’ glasses. Swinging at nothing in particular, Mike appears mightily confused as he hears something akin to the death rattle.

Leading by Example

- M. Bullock, Timberscombe, Somerset v Timberscombe CC. 2024

Our Chairdude has rarely featured in the EBI section of the website in recent times, his appearances restricted by time at the bar and time behind the bar. Here, he puts the record straight with a classy miss which sees one bail do a dance and the other to disappear to god knows where. We salute you, sir.

High Flying Balls

- G. Carter, Ewelme v Ewelme & Benson CC. 2024

Always a celebration to have our Legend appear in the hallowed EBI section of the website, and in this example taken from a sniper’s camera perched high on an embankment, we see Geoff playing the ball adroitly onto his stumps.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttteeee!

- J. C. Bateman, Brasenose College v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2024

Under the watchful supervision of Keeper Doggett, Australian deserter Bateman Jr plays about four days early to a Charvis slower ball. It’s the same ball that has castled him for close to a decade, just to prove that humans are dumb and we don’t learn any new tricks.

The Ageing Process

- C. T. J. Williams, Cassington v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2024

Chris is one of our best batters and an alien to this hallowed shrine of incompetence. That was until Father Time started clipping his heels as it reached for his coat tails. Here once again, we find him dangling some wood whilst fishing as a ball crashes into his timber. Growing older, mate? There is nothing graceful about growing older, just a grim acceptance that you are… older.

The Blame Game

- M. K. Reeves, Cassington v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2024

Mike is a regular to this shrine and likes nothing more than blaming Howarth and his Canon for his plethora of appearances therein. It is never Mr Reeves’ fault that he misses the ball whilst playing a completely inappropriate shot (read: heave, swipe, slog or smear). Nope, it is always Ian and his camera’s fault, even if they are not even at the ground or in the country.

This Shrine is Mine!

- C. D. Roberts, Cassington v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2024

One-man towers over all others when it comes to the Exhibition of Batting Incompetence. If there were a CEO of this gallery it would be Mr C. D. Roberts. Other contributions pale into insignificance when hung next to those of Tall Bob. Here in all its glory is his latest and most creative piece yet, as he interweaves Keeper Doggett into its timeless beauty.

Gazball

- G. J. Timms, Horspath v Mandarins CC. 2024

In this particularly low-res exhibit, we witness opener Mr Timms attempting to swipe the off spin of Miss Porter to cow but failing to read the length, direction and flight of the ball. His day now done and after quickly getting changed into his casual attire, Gary was then asked at the bar “…are you playing this evening?” One for the ages.

The Missing Bail

- C. T. J. Williams, Nettlebed v Nettlebed CC. 2024

Chris has featured prominently in this exhibition in recent times, his skills and artistry slowly eroded by age. In this particular piece we note the tell-tale spin of the head to the timber, but where is the bail? Was it ever there? It certainly was, sat proudly on those wooden uprights, but not anymore….

Black Gold

- D. Shorten, Wantage v Wantage & Grove CC. 2025

In this joyful exhibit, both batsman and keeper are absorbed by the parched turf and the action is of little consequence. David thrashes the surface with his bat convinced there may well be oil below the surface as Stumpmeister Wong watches on to catch any resultant spurt of black gold.

The Missing Bails

- C. T. J. Williams, Queens College v Isis CC. 2025

Proving that form is temporary and that a decline in eyesight and reactions is permanent as we grow older, Williams here struts his forward defensive to something nobody else bore witness to (including himself). For the record and for once, Alan East did not bowl this delivery.

Spectral Bails

- M. S. Rundle, Harwell Campus v Harwell International CC. 2025

In this example of complete inadequacy, Psycho is castled by a delivery that causes the bails to spookily disappear into a rip in time. Only Mark would be able to recover these, being that he now exists in this spiritual world.

The Team Man

- G. Carter, Harwell Campus v Harwell International CC. 2025

Nobody can accuse of Geoff of not being the ultimate team man. In this incident there were only a few balls left to win the match, so unselfishly Mr Carter flaps at totally the wrong line to hasten batters to the crease who can actually see straight.

The Crappy Little Flappy Thing

- J. D. Hoskins, Britwell v Britwell Salome CC. 2025

There are many different batting strokes which can be deployed in the game of cricket. The one which goes under the name of ‘Crappy Little Flappy Thing’ is probably one to avoid. Eh, JMO?

The Magnificent Failing

- I. Howarth, Brasenose v Appleton CC. 2025

A lo-res screengrab from a watching iPhone here showcases a wonderful on-drive early in Spam’s innings. Given the rare opportunity to open the batting and showcase his famed concentration, here he repays his skipper’s faith by trying to twat the brisk opening bowler (Platt) somewhere amongst the ducks in the Thames (fifth over)….

The Missing Bails II

- C. T. J. Williams, Brasenose College v Enstone CC. 2025

(Ahem)… and proving once again that form is temporary and that a decline in eyesight and reactions is permanent as we grow older, Williams here struts his forward defensive to something nobody else bore witness to (including himself). For the record and once again, Alan East did not bowl this delivery.

Triumvirate of Shite

- C. D. Roberts, G. Carter & G. J. Timms, Aston Tirrold v Astons CC. 2025

It is a rare and beautiful thing to capture a trio of incompetent masterpieces in the same match, nigh on impossible. But eventually, as Team MAD grow older and occurrences of batting twattery increase exponentially, all you need is someone with a long lens camera to seize the moment(s)? These three exhibits almost merit a toll of sorts to marvel at this collage of shite.

A Study in Shite and Ball Balancing

- M. S. Rundle, Cholsey Meadows v Cholsey CC. 2025

Here we find a posse of MAD players scrutinising a display of gross incompetence out in the middle. They are captivated by the batsman’s ill-thought out shot selection and his lack of ability in playing a straight line. But what really is bizarre, is how the ball ricochets off the stumps and lands directly on top of a drinks bottle?! Crazy stuff.

A Guide to Self Destruction

- M. W. Mead, Cassington v Wootton & Bladon CC. 2026

A lovely example of guiding a ball onto your stumps was to be showcased at Cassington by Mr Mead. The deft application of velocity and angles is quite superb. A doff of the cap, sir.

Splat

- G. J. Timms, Britwell v Britwell Salome CC. 2026

No stranger to this joyous art gallery, here we find Mr Timms and a wonky trio of Vitality sponsored pink stumps that… oh.

Splat 2

- J. vdG. Webster, Britwell v Britwell Salome CC. 2026

Having watched his batting partner play across the stumps and get framed for this EBI gallery (above), Jan deftly avoids the ignominy of failing to learn and… oh. Still, it’s a lovely rural backdrop.