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Current Players  |  Selected Non-Current Players  |  Historical Numerical List

 

 

A group of people in white uniforms on a field

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Current Player Profiles

(Updated to end of Season 2023)

 

 

*

 

 

“A”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#114

 

Lee Grant Ainsworth

 

Nickname:

Moaner,  Chunter,  Swear Hotline,

Whores Entail

Birthplace:

The bowels of the John Radcliffe Hospital

Debut:

2011

Match:

220

DOB:

10 / 06 / 81

Height:

5’ 11”

Type:

LH bat,  Right-arm medium,  Keeper

#1 Single:

Adam & The Ants – “Stand and Deliver”

 

 

A couple of men in white sports uniforms

Description automatically generatedA person playing cricket on a field

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Profile: Cynical, downbeat and eternally grumpy, Lee finally made good on his word to leave his League frustrations behind and concentrate on winning The MAD POTS award for 2016, and in doing so beating someone else to the prize who deserved it more. Technically gifted with both bat and ball, despite being left-handed, he’s every inch that dependable name on the team sheet. He’s also no slouch in the field either, with a wonderful cricketing nous and a supreme gift at moaning. Scarcely a minute passes by without some barbed or disparaging comment concerning blinkered fielding positions or shitty bowling changes.

 

Form: Boasting a rich cricketing pedigree, it is perhaps no surprise to have seen Mr Ainsworth slip into the Captain’s uniform this season gone. Deputising in his own ubiquitous style, he’s also backed this up with both runs, wickets and a heady dose of cynical grumbling. He’s also impressed behind the stumps, proving you are allowed to take catches and stop byes (no names mentioned).

 

Fantasy Credentials: A much improved availability backed up by the stats to illustrate his talent, Lee’s Fantasy valuation may be very alluring come the new season. Hmm….

 

Pithy Remark: Controversially, some say Lee gripes and bitches more than Howarth.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

30

23

7

498

31.13

64

492

101.22

54

9

-

1

-

35 ovs

25

23

7

731

45.69

72*

963

75.91

73

6

1

5

-

40 ovs

18

18

3

522

34.80

83

828

63.04

50

5

-

4

-

Timed

1

1

0

51

51.00

51

64

79.69

9

-

-

1

-

Other

5

5

2

115

38.33

53*

116

99.14

15

-

1

1

-

 

Totals

 

79

 

70

 

19

 

1917

 

37.59

 

83

 

2463

 

77.83

 

201

 

20

 

2

 

12

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

30

41

4

209

16

3-7

13.06

5.10

15.38

-

7

-

-

35 ovs

25

69.3

2

303

18

4-31

16.83

4.36

23.17

-

8

1

3

40 ovs

18

37

10

124

9

3-16

13.78

3.35

24.67

-

6

-

1

Timed

1

2.1

0

17

1

1-17

17.00

7.85

13.00

-

-

-

-

Other

5

16

1

68

5

4-27

13.60

4.25

19.20

-

2

-

1

 

Totals

 

79

 

165.4

 

17

 

721

 

49

 

4-27

 

14.71

 

4.35

 

20.29

 

0

 

23

 

1

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

“B”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#162

 

J____ C__________ B______

 

Nickname:

Digger,  M___ B____ J__

Birthplace:

Wootton, Oxford.

Debut:

2021

Match:

541

DOB:

12 / 12 / 1994

Height:

6’ 3”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

East 17 – “Stay Another Day”

 

 

Diagram

Description automatically generatedA couple of men playing cricket

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Profile: J____ quickly established himself as a permanent fixture in the team after the [then] skipper discovered he lived nearby and could drive [to matches]. He could also bat, bowl, field, drink, room with Hotson on Tour, sponsor the club and bring the average age of the team down quite considerably. His dad could also take some mean photos when the situation arose. A former Fat Boy, Mr B______ liked nothing more than getting sledged all day whenever The MAD played their perennial rivals [our begrudging friends of Wootton & Bladon]. Casually amicable, it was easy to look past J____’ judicious mind, being that he was fifty years younger than most of his peers. A stellar season in 2022 was then overshadowed by his ridiculous and utterly selfish decision to relocate Down Under – I mean seriously, WTF???

 

Form: Fuck all, see above, he’s presently dwelling in The Land of Kangaroos, innit … and also in danger of being demoted off this ‘Current Players’ page.

 

Fantasy Credentials: (Ahem…)

 

Pithy Remark: Nobody mentions J___ anymore because he never existed as far as we’re concerned. Sod him. He only stays on this page because he’ll probably realise his folly and come back cap in hand….

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

17

17

7

301

30.10

48*

301

100.00

42

2

1

-

-

35 ovs

12

11

2

302

33.56

59

426

70.89

41

-

-

1

-

40 ovs

4

4

1

205

68.33

106*

297

69.02

22

3

-

1

1

Timed

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other

1

1

0

25

25.00

25

16

156.25

4

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

34

 

33

 

10

 

833

 

36.22

 

106*

 

1040

 

80.10

 

109

 

5

 

0

 

2

 

1

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

17

18

1

91

6

2-17

15.17

5.06

18.00

-

4

-

1

35 ovs

12

13

0

61

4

4-13

15.25

4.69

19.50

-

5

-

1

40 ovs

4

6

0

61

0

0-24

-

10.17

-

-

1

-

1

Timed

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other

1

2

0

25

0

0-25

-

12.50

-

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

34

 

39

 

1

 

238

 

10

 

4-13

 

23.80

 

6.10

 

23.40

 

0

 

10

 

0

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#18

 

Matt Bullock

 

Nickname:

Warnie,  Beermatt,  Totem Bullwhack

Birthplace:

Solihull, Warwickshire

Debut:

1998

Match:

004

DOB:

28 / 01 / 71

Height:

5’ 10”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm leg spin

#1 Single:

Clive Dunn – “Grandad”

 

 

A group of men sitting on a couch

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Profile: Being the oldest serving member of the Far from the MCC, Matt’s seen the lot. As the years have ebbed by, he’s witnessed denims and doc martens replaced by whites and shiny spikes. He’s seen the club rise from the dead, move home, rebrand, move home and rebrand again. He’s experienced the tumultuous highs and the soul-destroying lows. He’s captained the team, toured the UK with the team and chaired over two decades of AGM’s for the team. He’s filed the scorebooks, updated the records and written onto paper things ineffaceable. Moreover, Matt has had countless banter with nearly all of the 162 other lads and lasses who have at one time or another stood in a field with him on a Sunday or some dreamy summer evening. In short, Matthew is The MAD. Intelligent, oracular and quick witted in equal measure, the team have always eschewed a more rounded and wholesome feel with his presence, especially at the bar.

 

Form: Matt’s current form is hard to establish, being that his only appearances in 2023 were on the Tour to Ipswich where he notched a single when drunk.

 

Fantasy Credentials: Despite 2023 seeing a paucity of appearances for Matthew, his skills as a stumpmeister allied to the occasional haul of runs and wickets remain undimmed. An enticing and cheap Fantasy proposition, particularly with the gloves, he is definitely in the category of hmm….

 

Pithy Remark: Matt is to beer what Beermatt.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

74

65

3

479

7.73

30

796

60.18

59

1

9

-

-

35 ovs

104

87

15

667

9.26

35

1424

46.84

62

-

14

-

-

40 ovs

54

45

8

396

10.70

31

738

53.66

46

1

6

-

-

Timed

8

8

2

81

13.50

41*

83

97.59

6

-

1

-

-

Other

21

17

3

127

9.07

39

177

71.75

13

-

6

-

-

 

Totals

 

261

 

222

 

31

 

1750

 

9.16

 

41*

 

3218

 

54.38

 

186

 

2

 

36

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

74

31.2

0

244

12

2-14

23.00

8.12

17.00

-

9

3

5

35 ovs

104

39

1

254

14

3-12

18.14

6.51

16.71

-

44

18

5

40 ovs

54

11.3

0

76

3

2-27

25.33

6.61

23.00

-

20

3

2

Timed

8

1

0

10

1

1-10

10.00

10.00

6.00

-

3

-

-

Other

21

12.5

0

62

3

3-22

20.67

4.83

25.67

-

5

3

-

 

Totals

 

261

 

95.4

 

1

 

646

 

33

 

3-12

 

19.58

 

6.75

 

17.39

 

0

 

81

 

27

 

12

 

 

 

 

 

“C”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#89

 

Geoff [The Legend] Carter

 

Nickname:

Wood Boy,  George or any Christian name beginning with ‘G’,  Farce Forget

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2005

Match:

109

DOB:

01 / 05 / 60

Height:

6’ 0”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm lobbers

#1 Single:

Anthony Newley – “Do You Mind”

 

 

Player_Geoff_450x400_a2

 

 

 

Profile: Quirky, affable, jocular and increasingly schizophrenic, Geoff has been in and around the team’s edges for well over a decade and is now regarded as a club institution/legend. In fact, such is Geoff’s standing, he has been the focal point of nearly all the match rambles to have claimed The MAD Booker prize in recent years. A carpenter by trade, he enjoys splitting his time between teaching crap to students, smashing a decent beer or ten, ingesting prescribed medicines and watching Oxford United FC lose most weekends. Out on the field, he is both a celebrated opener and tailender, and knows no other positions in the batting order. He can also keep wicket or at least he can stand behind the stumps with some pads on. Sometimes he just stands there, bewildered, looking like he’s wandered out a retirement home.

 

Form: …is of course temporary and class is permanent. Geoff has neither.

 

Fantasy Credentials: None, but he’ll be cheap as a discounted item in B&Ms.

 

Pithy Remark: Anything that can go wrong is most definitely Geoff’s fault.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

82

52

11

223

5.44

30*

505

44.16

20

-

12

-

-

35 ovs

69

52

6

297

6.32

28

852

34.86

31

-

12

-

-

40 ovs

42

38

5

405

12.27

39

1050

38.57

43

-

5

-

-

Timed

1

1

0

1

1.00

1

20

5.00

-

-

-

-

-

Other

14

10

3

29

4.14

14*

94

30.85

1

1

3

-

-

 

Totals

 

208

 

154

 

25

 

955

 

7.40

 

39

 

2521

 

37.88

 

95

 

1

 

32

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

82

16

0

152

1

1-25

152.00

9.50

96.00

-

8

3

11

35 ovs

69

3

0

30

0

0-9

-

10.00

-

-

8

3

5

40 ovs

42

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

7

3

Timed

1

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-

-

Other

14

0.4

-

4

-

-

-

6.00

-

-

-

-

2

 

Totals

 

208

 

19.4

 

0

 

186

 

1

 

1-25

 

186.00

 

9.46

 

118.00

 

0

 

23

 

13

 

21

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#146

 

Joseph Albert Cartwright

 

Nickname:

Old Joe,  Project Raw Thighs

Birthplace:

Cardiff

Debut:

2018

Match:

450

DOB:

06 / 02 / 59

Height:

5’ 9” (ish)

Type:

RH bat,  RH slow

#1 Single:

The Platters – “Sun Gets in Your Eyes”

 

 

A person in a white shirt

Description automatically generatedA group of men playing cricket

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Profile: Understated, sage like, warm and engaging, Joe made his debut in 2018 after turning up to a pub dressed in whites, yet it feels like he’s been around forever, so maybe he has been, and nobody really noticed. A product of The MAD’s burgeoning Youth Academy, the sprightly Joseph has already proven his quality with the blade, looking overtly studious before unfurling straight drives over the bowler’s head to leave his audience agog. He’s definitely played at much higher levels in his past, exuding an aura at the crease akin to someone who has definitely played at higher levels in the past. It was probably in South Wales or somewhere Wales-like, because all those league teams definitely play at higher levels.

 

Form: 2023 gave up Joe’s maiden MAD half-century with a POTS outside the loony bin in Cholsey. It was innings built around patience that exploded into life towards the end and will be cherished by those to witness it.

 

Fantasy Credentials: Could Joe be like a fine wine in getting better with age? Maybe. So, will you take a punt on him with your Fantasy shekels to get a few cheeky runs next term? Hmm….

 

Pithy Remark: Joe can sing and boy can Joe sing.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

22

17

6

170

15.45

37*

199

85.43

19

-

2

-

-

35 ovs

19

17

3

241

17.21

59*

452

53.32

29

1

3

1

-

40 ovs

4

4

0

18

4.50

6

43

41.86

1

-

-

-

-

Timed

1

1

0

3

3.00

3

15

20.00

0

-

-

-

-

Other

4

3

0

80

26.67

40

118

67.80

11

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

50

 

42

 

9

 

512

 

15.52

 

59*

 

827

 

61.91

 

60

 

1

 

5

 

1

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

22

19

0

107

5

2-18

21.40

5.63

22.80

-

3

-

2

35 ovs

19

3

0

26

1

1-26

26.00

8.67

18.00

 

4

-

1

40 ovs

4

2.1

1

6

1

1-6

6.00

2.77

13.00

-

-

-

-

Timed

1

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-

-

Other

4

1

-

7

2

2-7

3.50

7.00

3.00

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

50

 

25.1

 

1

 

146

 

9

 

2-7

 

16.22

 

5.80

 

16.78

 

0

 

7

 

0

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

“D”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#98

 

Andrew Darley

 

Nickname:

Del Boy,  Salvador,  Butthead,  Mo,

Warren Deadly,  Darned Lawyer

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2008

Match:

152

DOB:

04 / 02 / 75

Height:

6’ 3”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium fast

#1 Single:

Pilot – “January”

 

 

A person holding a bat and a helmet

Description automatically generatedA person playing a game of baseball

Description automatically generated

 

 

 

Profile: Enigmatic and gregariously upbeat, Andrew is one of those bubbly, larger-than-life characters who just begs your attention. Whether it be smashing stumps at absurd velocity or smashing sixes into adjoining solar systems, it’s all about IMPACT and SENSATIONALISM. A former OU officer, he is generous and eternally exuberant about everything and anything, with The MAD team sheet always looking more robust with Mr Darley’s name inked on it.

 

Form: Unshackled by the demons of yesteryear following sessions with a cricketing shrink, appearances skyrocketing, Andy is now displaying the consistent all-round threat we always knew he could be. Quick-fire runs up and down the order and some excellent opening salvos with the ball are now the norm.

 

Fantasy Credentials: In recent times, Andy’s stock has risen, now representing an enticing batting option to complement the perennial opening bowler. A decent Fantasy punt then? Is he now hard to look past… hmm.

 

Pithy Remark: Darley loves gluing Bob’s head back together and losing to Spam at poker.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

22

16

2

162

11.57

35*

156

103.85

25

3

4

-

-

35 ovs

51

39

6

385

11.67

53*

474

81.22

44

11

6

2

-

40 ovs

29

22

2

228

11.40

52

291

78.35

25

5

3

1

-

Timed

2

2

0

0

0.00

0

3

0.00

-

-

2

-

-

Other

7

6

1

36

7.20

20

58

62.07

6

-

2

-

-

 

Totals

 

111

 

85

 

11

 

811

 

10.96

 

53*

 

982

 

82.59

 

100

 

19

 

17

 

3

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

22

65

6

358

13

2-2

27.54

5.51

30.00

-

6

-

1

35 ovs

51

304.5

34

1126

46

3-14

24.48

3.69

39.76

-

14

-

1

40 ovs

29

175.3

25

651

23

4-20

28.30

3.71

45.78

-

3

-

-

Timed

2

11

0

44

2

1-9

22.00

4.00

33.00

-

-

-

-

Other

7

14

0

96

1

1-15

96.00

6.86

84.00

-

2

-

-

 

Totals

 

111

 

570.2

 

65

 

2275

 

85

 

4-20

 

26.76

 

3.99

 

40.26

 

-

 

25

 

0

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

“E”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#105

 

David (not Dave) Emerson

 

Nickname:

Wonky,  Diamond,  Emo,  Varied Demons,

Mended Saviour

Birthplace:

Invercargill, Wellington. NZ

Debut:

2008

Match:

167

DOB:

09 / 04 / 76

Height:

6’ 2”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Brotherhood of Man – “Save Your Kisses For Me”

 

 

A picture containing person, outdoor, person, eating

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Profile: Engaging, knowledgeable, deeply amusing, flawed and talented in equal measure, Kiwi Dave joined the FFTMCC back in the late noughties, juggling permanent intoxication with a rash of ducks and a swathe of match winning bowling performances. The thing is, he was actually a batsman, he always was, but nobody ever asked him, or did we? A calculator of energy use and a boot boy for the Labour militants, David’s MAD career has peaked and troughed over the years, but never been dull. Back-to-back POTS were accrued once upon a time before his body collapsed under the strain of putting some effort in. Of course, it was [then] Skipper Westmoreland’s fault, flogging him like some unloved Muriwai Beach horse or at least that was his agent’s mantra….

 

Form: After years of self-pity and hypochondria, David slowly assimilated back into the Club ranks to remind everyone of his drinking prowess and his cricketing unpredictability. However, 2023 saw him disappear again after he learned the club was vacating to Ipswich on Tour.

 

Fantasy Credentials: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it also makes your Fantasy valuation nosedive. There are rumours of a comeback of sorts in 2024, so do you take that outside punt? Hmm….

 

Pithy Remark: David tows his static home to Thailand every winter.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

68

58

11

886

18.85

44*

736

120.38

109

4

5

-

-

35 ovs

46

40

4

434

12.06

47

561

77.36

43

2

6

-

-

40 ovs

80

65

8

839

14.72

95

923

90.90

120

4

11

2

-

Timed

4

3

2

20

20.00

14*

30

66.67

0

-

-

-

-

Other

4

4

0

46

11.50

24

41

112.20

4

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

202

 

170

 

25

 

2225

 

15.34

 

95

 

2291

 

97.12

 

280

 

10

 

22

 

2

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

65

133.1

8

689

36

3-20

19.14

5.17

22.19

-